Journey to Kazahstan

I'm Back (sort of)!

2010-05-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Life is good, just busy, busy, busy. Ongoing computer problems at home and wanting a few minutes of R & R before hitting the sheets and facebook have prevented me from keeping up with blogging. So much to say but on a "time quota" at work.

Almost a year has gone by since my last post which is way to much to fill in. Short story, Kayla is growing like weed. I think she is now 42 inches and 38 ponds. Still hitting the 90 percentile. She is EXTREMAL vocal and Aunt Lele and Nene remind me constantly of me cryings and saying, "what if she never talks." Now it is more like, "what if she never STOPS talking???" She tells stories and has ideas on everything ("Mommy, I thin that car is broken") and LOVE to tell jokes. Now for some reason ALL of her jokes involve a doggie or a kitty eating something. Typical joke, "Mommy, a dog ate a swimming pool," next joke, "a kitty ate a swimming pool." Now we take turns telling jokes about animals eating different stuff. She is such a funny, sweet little girl!

Off to NeNe and Grand Dad's this weekend for Grand Dad's birthday. Kayla is making him a card today at Ms. Krissies.

Kayla's Sissy

2009-08-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

Megan turns 13 this week! For some demented reason she chose to celebrate by going to "the largest sling shot in the world" and be shot into the air with three of her friends. Kayla and I tagged along. Even with all of her friends around Megan was so attentive and loving to Kayla. While Kayla was watching Megan's SECOND trip into the air, Kayla yelled, "Megan!" and said, "Megan's my sister." Its so sweet to see the two of them together, it makes me wish I had a sister for Kayla. I know that as much as Megan loves Kayla, she will get older and not be as interested in hanging around with a little girl. Even Jacob is so sweet with Kayla and Kayla is always asking about him. I hope Kayla remembers this special time with Megand and Jacob.

Being an only child I always wished for siblings. It was was my hope to have two children (and a husband) so my child would have more family. my path to Motherhood didn't really go as planned and I am truly blessed to have my sweet Kayla. I would like things to be different but how could I even think about a second child? There is the money, my age, the wait but most importantly - what are the odds that I could ever get another child as wonderful as Kayla? Not only is she healthy, she is smart and has the sweetest disposition (usually). As nice as it would be to have a sibling for Kayla, I just think it would almost be a slap in God's face that he blessed me with such a wonderful child and then and I go ask for another?

I do worry about Kayla being alone after I'm gone. With no siblings or other family to speak of and no husbands side of the family, she just has me and my folks. Luckily I have always been blessed with a wonderful family of friends and hopefully Kayla will one day get married and have her own family. Hopefully she wont feel lonely with as many people who love her.

Too Much to Catch Up On

2009-07-31T17:24:00.000-07:00

It is NOT possible I haven't posted since Easter! I know it seemed like I was having computer problems forever but now it REALLY seems like forever. How can I ever catch up??? Some things that come to the top of my head...

- We had our first trip to Sea World with Aunt Dana, Kenneth and Andrea. It was hot but we had a great time. Kayla was scared for about one minute of Shamu but when she saw that everyone was clapping she started too. She is so brave!
- Kayla went to Islands of Adventure with Aunt Crysie and Carley and WITHOUT me! I was glad she had such a nice time but I wish I was there for it too.
- We went to our first children's children's party. It was for Charlie and he turned 3. Guess where it was...MONKEY JOE'S!!! What could be more fun for Kayla and anything with cake is a joy for me. This is the first time we went without Megan and while we missed her it was nice to get to do all of the stuff with Kayla myself.
- Every time Kayla gets into the pool she is closer and closer to being able to swim. Now she basically points herself and pushes towards me and calls it swimming. I'm looking into a few swimming lessons. I really do think that will be enough. She will just jump into the pool, do belly flops anything at all and not be afraid. I'm going to be in trouble she is such a dare devil.
- We went on our first real vacation. So it wasn't a huge adventure - we rented a condo at Marco Island. Suzanne and her family stayed with Mama. I had a nice time but I cant say it was as relaxing as I hoped. Mama let Kayla sleep over at her house each night so I could sleep late. I would put Kayla to bed, go to the condo and then go over in the morning. We went with A
Aunt Lele and I beat her TWICE in trivial pursuit. I AM THE CHAMPION!!!
- Kayla saw her first fireworks. We had prepped her that they go, "boom, boom, boom". It really didn't seem to phase her. It bothered her more staying up late so there was a little melt down when I wouldn't let her throw sand. She rarely does that so no biggie. We were on Marco beach with Nene and Grand Dad.
- Kayla's eczema has been really bad this summer. That or heat rash. Sometimes she is so itchy I don't know what to do. I think I need to take her to a dermatologists.

Kayla is so smart! Right now she can say the days of the week (although she lately says Sunday two times), count to at least 30, can sing the alphabet (except M and N) and knows most of the letters and her colors. Miss. Krissie is starting to work on the calendar and the clock now and I am working on word flashcards. She loves it all which is great. I really do like the one and one attention she gets at day care. I was worried for awhile that there were not enough kids her age. When I looked into schools they all had 24 or more kids. She may only have Dalton that is her age but that gives her more of an opportunity to work on things with Miss. Krissie - at least I hope so.

Some cute things she is doing and saying now:
- when I suggest we do something she will say, "yeah, that sounds fun" or "that's a good idea Mommy"
- this week she has been calling Bear her baby and putting him her baby crib and telling me, "not to wake the baby".
- when i told her that she was my baby and I was NeNe's baby (after she said Bear was her baby) she told me that, "Grand dad was her baby too"
- she makes up words and song. The Cat In The Hat song goes, "cat in the hat, cat in the hat, cat in the hat...." you get the idea. The Mommy song is strikingly similar.

Tomorrow I have a babysitter coming from 4 PM - 8 PM and no real plans! I am going to do something with Shannon but having a hard time with what that something is. Its hard when I am trying to get back in time to put Kayla to bed. I know some people don't go out until their kids are asleep but that's too late for me. I'm sooo boring!!!

More another time....

Best Easter EVER!

2009-04-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

What a difference a year makes. Last Easter I was actually down because it was Kayla and my first Easter and we were all alone and didn't do anything special. I wanted family around and family traditions. I wanted to make sure this year was different.

OK, the week may have gotten off to a rocky start. I took Kayla to visit the Easter Bunny (EB) to have her picture taken. Being the wise, psychologically trained person I am I prepped her for a couple of days in advance by showing her Laurens picture with the EB and would say, "do you want to sit on the EB's lap like Lauren?" and telling her we too were going to go an visit the EB. She would say "yes" to my question so I thought it was a slam dunk. Until I got to the mall. As soon as she saw the EB it was, "up, up Mommy!". She hid her face in my shoulder and wanted nothing to do with "him" (do we KNOW the EB is a boy???). I got her to walk by him a few times and wave and even got her to sit on my lap next to the EB in the food court. Finally I gave up but got some great spring pictures.

On Saturday I told Kayla that we were going to see the EB and go to an Easter egg hunt. Out of the blue SHE said, "I want to sit on the EB lap". I sort of thought, "you say that now..." but she was good to her word. We went to the egg hunt at the YMCA and The Fountains and she sat on the EB lap BOTH times. Both events were fun but also a little frustrating. Parents let their kids fill their baskets BEFORE the egg hunt. I know its no big deal but it did aggravate me (parents not kids). It did make me wonder if I would be one of those nutty parents you hear about at sports events.

At The Fountains Mr. Conrad joined us. That was more fun. They had more activities AND eggs. Conrad and Kayla rode a train together and saw the EB. A clown painted a frog on Kayla's hand that lasted about 15 minutes and they got balloons. A lot of fun.

On Sunday we went to church with Lele, Megan and Jacob. Then we went to a very nice breakfast at the Hilton and guess who was there?!?! The Easter Bunny! Once again Kayla was very good with him. They even had an Easter egg hunt and I think there was Easter egg karma. Johan's kids gave ALL of their eggs to Kayla. It actually made me tear up.

That night I cooked Easter dinner at Lele's It was SUPPOSE to be WE cooked it but she cleaned which is even better.Megan and Jacob took Kayla swimming and we did ANOTHER Easter egg hunt! There was a nice woman there with a beautiful little girl and she invited us to hunt eggs with them. Once again, Easter karma! Did make me feel guilty about getting aggravated at the other hunts.

Of course we also did the whole, "look, the Easter bunny" came thing AFTER I had to recharge my video camera. This year I didn't go nutty. Basket had sunglasses (Kayla's favorite accessory), Hello Kitty shoes, a couple of toys and of course candy. Kayla actually got very little candy though. No, I didn't eat it! It is actually in a baggie in the kitchen so THERE!

So in total we had 5 Easter egg hunts and three visits with the Easter bunny. Exhausting but fun and memorable. Like I said, best Easter ever! Maybe next year I will work up the nerve to actually COLOR eggs.

Good News X 2!!!

2009-04-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

OK, the first good news is I think that Kayla is officially pottie trained (I hope I didn't just jinx it!). She wears panties now and when I put her in a pull up (like on the trip to Nenes and Grand Dads) she keeps it dry. Even overnight and I cant even go all night! She tells me when she needs to go, doesn't have any problems with public toilets or automatic flushers like I have heard other kids sometimes do. She hasn't had an accident in over a week. Now we are working on "privacy" as in DON'T OPEN THE DOOR WHEN MOMMY IS IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM.

My second piece of good news is on a totally different category- my job. Long story short for those who didn't know...my company was sold. Pair that with a not so booming economy and you get massive reorganization and the inevitable lay offs. We have literally been in limbo "transformation" for a year and a half. The transformation continues but they are done with Human Resources (for now) and I am officially safe (for now). No one knows what the future holds but I am very grateful to still be employed in a job I love and that my gamble to not take a hotel job paid off. Now to help with my job security and the economy TAKE A VACATION! Everyone seems to be staying close to home which doesn't help those of us in hospitality. I am certainly not an type of economist but keep thinking that until everyone take a leap of faith and starts spending money, weather it be on travel, a new car or home improvements - more businesses will go under and the economy will never improve. But like I said, what do I know?

Kayla's pottie trained, Kayla's pottie trained......hopefully!!!

Memories....

2009-03-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

What a nice evening I had with Kayla! I'm writing it down so I don't forget it. I actually prayed that I would be able to remember the moment when she was all grown up but then I started crying. OK, its probably one of those "had to be there" moments. Aunt LeLe fixed her shopping cart (I helped) so we took her baby and cart to "go see water". Half way there she parked her cart in the grass and took my hand and started walking with me. When we got to the lake I sat down and she came and sat on my lap. We took turns pointing at birds and cars. Then she got off my lap and sat next to me and then laid back in the grass and closed her eyes. I just watched her. Finally we got up and went home.

At bedtime I read her her stories. Then she said, "sing Mommy" and we sang some songs. When i say "we" I mean I sang and she sang every 3 - 5th word which was very cute. When I put her down she asked, which she has done before, "Mommy sleep Kayla's room?". It breaks my heart!!! Part of me wants to say yes but then I'm afraid it will happen EVERY night. That and I don't go to bed at 8 PM - yet. Yesterday we went to Blizzard Beach (and had a great time). When we came home for a nap she said, "sleep with Mommy?". Well I tried. She tried. It didn't work. she is a wiggle worm and I am too light of a sleeper and I need my weekend nap! I just worry that a time will come when we are traveling or something and we HAVE to sleep together and I am going to be totally screwed!

Two Quick Thoughts....

2009-03-08T08:15:00.000-07:00

1) I am about the throw in the towel with the whole potty training thing. Kayla is such an easy going kid (YEAH!!!) she could not care less if she has a poopy diaper. In fact, she now thinks its funny to poop in her diaper. If she needs to go when you put her on the toilet, she goes. If she has to go and she is NOT on the toilet, she goes.

Yesterday I thought I was a child care guiness and told her we were going to play a game. We were going to see if she could go the W H O L E day without going potty in her pull up. She got all excited and when I would ask what game we were playing she told me and was still excited. I began thinking of the title of the new best selling potty training manual I was going to wrote. Well two wet diapers and one stinky diaper later I gave up on the game idea.

Ms.Krissie thinks she is just lazy and wants to try putting her in panties all week and seeing if that does it (along with a lot of laundry).

2) Who knew a 2 year old could be such help? Now don't go calling the child labor police on me. If I ask her to get something or throw something away, she actually does (most of the time). Yesterday she held the dust pan for me. Today she even cleaned up a spill she made. She is such a good Mommy's helper!

Last night we went to Brock's and Kayla played with Jaimie and Kenny the whole time. We both had a great time. She LOVES playing hide and seek. Luckily I can find her pretty easy....for now.

Checking In

2009-03-03T17:23:00.000-08:00

Hello! After massive technical difficulties and a mild addiction to Face Book I am back! Lets see whats new....well Kayla's new phrase is, "Oh man!". The kid is a parrot. I really have to watch what I say. Sunday I said, "Oh my God" for some reason and heard that for the next 2 hours. What she says all the time that I like is "Mommy's baby" when she is talking about herself. Now what I don't like is anytime she has something new like a book or socks she asks, "Nene buy?" NOOOOOO - Mommy buy!

I think I lost credibility last weekend. On Friday I told her, "after school Nene will be here." Well Mama got sick and didn't come up. Then on Saturday I said, "today we are going to see alligator" because I had free passes to Gatorland. When we got there with aunt LeLe the line was so long and there was not one parking space. I pointed at an alligator mural and the open mouth of the Gator and said, "we saw alligators, wasn't that fun? Lets go to BJ's". I wonder if Dr.Phil will still be around when Kayla's ready to rat me out.

I haven't been traveling except to a conference in NC. Now I have a trip to Miami (just for
the day) on Thursday, a two night trip to Clearwater the week of 3/23 and then a 2 night trip to Miami 3/30. At least the last one Mama and Mark will get to keep "Monkey Pants". Kayla actually likes staying over at Miss. Krissies and will ask if she can sleep over. On Sunday she asked if Miss. Krissie could sleep over here. I explained Miss. Krissie has Clark, Brooke, Mathew and 2 doggies so NO she could not sleep over. She took the news well.

Potty training is still going. She pees if you put her on the spot but doesn't really tell you when she has to go. Really, what was wrong with diapers???

Weekend Update

2009-01-18T13:03:00.000-08:00

We had a great weekend with NeNe and Grand Dad. We had Tomoko and Fabrice over for dinner on Thursday. Friday I took off work and Mama and I went shopping and had lunch while Kayla was at school. That night we went to happy hour at TGI Fridays.

Saturday we had a field trip out to Forrest City to see the house we lived in when I was Kayla's age. Problem is we couldn't remember the street address so we went to the house we think it was. The people were very nice and let us in but they had renovated. We had a HUGE lunch at Jason's Deli and then home for a nap. Problem is after doing nothing but sitting ina car all day, Kayla wasn't sleepy. She never fell asleep and my parents paid the price when they baby sat that night. From all accounts, she was a terror! My folks had hung the phone up wrong and I couldn't get through. I was at the movies with LeLe and Megan and almost came home but I figured they were capable adults and everything would be OK. I did get to see another just OK movie - "Last Chance Harvey".

Mark put my clock and new shelves up while he was here too. I like having them around, I just wish they lived closer. I have to figure out when we can go visit as it is our turn. Now I don't know if I should wait until Kayla is fully potty trained but that could be YEARS at the rate we are going. She had some progress at day care and has pee peed twice over the weekend but that's it. I think I need to move to 45 minute potty breaks. I'm also interested in hearing more about this "potty training in one day" approach!

Let the Potty Training Begin!

2009-01-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

So, I was thinking while Ms. Krissie only has 3 kids it might be a good time to start potty training. I mentioned it to her to see what she thought and all the sudden Kayla was wearing pull ups at day care. Today I bought Pull Ups and as bribes "lollys" aka lolly pops, Skittels and spice dots.

Apparently the way the whole thing works is you put them on the potty every 45 minutes to an hour and I guess the law of averages you will finally get a "hit". When you do they get a candy reward. Maybe I just solved both my weight and frequent potty break problem : ) Might just be easier to keep her in diapers but I'm going to give it a try. Let me rephrase that, Ms. Krissie is going to give it a try. Maybe I shouldnt have started on a long weekend.

Mama and Mark get her tomorrow. I'm making a pot roast in the crock pot and my old room mate Tomoko and her boyfriend are coming over for dinner. The house is realitively clean, mainly thanks to LeLe but frankly I lost interest in cleaning. Im taking Friday off and then am off on Monday - yeah! Problem is I really have a lot to do at work but "it is what it is" (you can use that one).

So any great advice on fast and easy toilet training out there?

My Little Piggy

2009-01-11T13:17:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when you are talking on the phone and working on the yard with your back turned while your Angelic little girl plays on her jungle gym. She removes a stepping stone and gives herself a mud facial treatment.Oh, she also hands you her diaper to top things off. I may have to just throw her dress away because I dont think I will be able to get it clean. I know it was encourage her but I couldnt help take her picture before I stripped her down and put her in the shower. Now she is squeeky clean and making a mess everywhere I clean up. Im trying to not throw in the towel and use it as an excuse NOT to clean.

I feel like I have been in a rut. All I do is run from one thing to another. I run out of the house to get Kayla to school and me to work then I run around work all day trying to get enough done and then I am running to get Kayla and do our evening routine. I never feel like I have enough time with Kayla or work. Before Kayla I was empathtic to working Mom's but now I know I really didnt understand what they were going through.

On my Single Kaz Mom network there has been a lot of talk about having to have a strong support system in order to be a single Mom. Its very true. I dont have as big of a network as many of the people who write but I am very thankful for the people I do have and know they would be there if I needed them and have been.

Now enough of that and back to cleaning....

Our First Christmas

2008-12-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

We were lucky enough to be joined by NeNe and Gnddad for Christmas. They came up on Monday (I made a lasagna) and left on 12/26 to get ready for Suzanne's, Jim, Ashley's and Vince's arrival (Marks daughter). My folks gave me Tuesday off so I had a massage and saw a movie (Four Christmases) with LeLe. It was great having them around. I love Kayla but its nice to have a little help.

Kayla had a great time opening presents and making a huge mess. Santa bought me a video camera and I actually was able to figure out how to use it so I captures it all. Only problem is I was behind the camera so we had to recreate Xmas morning the next day. Lesson learned.LeLe and her family joined us for Christmas dinner and I must say everything turned out very well. I still have left overs. Megan and Jacob kept Kayla entertained all night long.

I am off this week and looking for ideas on how to pass the time. I went shopping today with Lori and bought 10 more things to ship to Two Hearts for Hope (all on sale thank you very much). I now have 8 boxes of clothes and toys to take to the post office. I am hoping my friend with the lovely, recently washed SUV will lend a hand.

We may go to the beach tomorrow with LeLe's family. Besides that I just need to get Kayla back on her schedule (she is just now waking up from her late nap) and get my house in order.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Operation Santa is a BUST

2008-12-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

Kayla knows that Santa says, ho, ho, ho" and she know she is suppose to say "nice" when he asks, "are you naught or nice" (although she sometimes will yell out NAUGHTY! I told her for days in advance that we were going to see Santa and he was nice but when the time came she wasn't having any of it. It was my company party and we made three attempts. some with Mommy, some with Jaimie but no go. She would stand on the stairs and wave at him and say "hi" but that was it.

Surprisingly we did get a picture with Mickey Mouse but she wasn't thrilled at first. Maybe because she knows him more than Santa. When she first started pointing at Mickey and saying his name when we would be out I was surprised and wondered how she knew. Then I realized that we live in Orlando, Ms. Krissie works PT at Disney and honestly, who DOESN'T know Mickey Mouse?

We are enjoying looking at Christmas lights every night. Kayla thinks they are called some. Its because when I see them I will say, "theres some!". Now I tell her to let me know if she sees any and she will point and say, "some!!". Its so cute.

Kayla's two favorite phrases now are, "no, me do" and "I get it". She is a very independent young lady. She had her 2 year check up last week and the word the doc used was "outstanding". She had 4 shots and didn't even cry. We don't go back until she is 3 but I think that is probably wishful thinking. She is still in the 95% for height and at 2 if I double her height she will be 6 ft. Not sure if that is accurate but she is defiantly tall.

She has been sleeping through the night and except for last night after my holiday party, she has had no sippy cup with water at bed time. I figure its a step in the right direction for potty training. The doc said I could start trying but it seems early. She does tell me AFTER she has pooped. I think this weekend she was tring to tell me before but I didn't get it. She does sometime sit on her potty but except for that one time, no action. Lovely conversation I know.

BIRTHDAY SUCESS!!!

2008-12-11T17:30:00.000-08:00

What a party! A good time was had by all (well at least I hope so). Those who know me will not be surprised that I was a nervous wreck trying to make sure every detail was taken care of. The one thing I couldn't control....the weather. When Mama and I came out of the house and got to the park it was all gray and even sprinkling. I admit I said a little pray, "Lord, I hate to ask because you blessed me so much with Kayla but could you give me a break with the weather?" Right at 11 AM (party start time) the skies cleared and the sun came out and it was beautiful all day. as soon as we got home the skis opened up and it poured!Now if he just get back to me on those husband and winning the lottery prayers (kidding!).

I was thrilled that so many dear friends came. some of them had never met Kayla so it was a double party. Christina, Gene and Lauren drove all the way from Fort Lauderdale - JUST FOR THE DAY. She is a much better person and friend than me because I am WAY to lazy to do that (especially with a 4 year old in the car - no offense Lauren). Misty and April also drove up from FTL but stayed the night. We got to catch up after the party which was great. They even convinced me to sign up on face book and now the stupid site doesn't recognize my email. Whats up with that???

A special "shout out" to Le Le and Lori for putting up with me before and during the party. I know you will find this shocking but I can be a tad bit obsessive and annoying. Both helped me plan and calmed me down and Lori even helped set up and co hostess keeping everyone happy. I was also great to have Mama there and have her get to spend time with not just Kayla and me but with my friends.

Kayla was fantastic during the party. Honestly I didn't see that much of her. she was either off at the play ground with people so someone was playing with her. I know its bad to admit but I just sort of assumed someone had her and let Mama be her keeper. She even would say, "thank you" (when prompted). She gets this little blank look like, "whats this all about?" so I think most of her pictures of cake and pictures are going to look like mug shots. I actually didn't get many pictures so hopefully someone else did.

Everyone was incredibly generous and "broke the rules" as Lori said and borough her presents AND we got a TON of clothes to send to the "Two Hearts" charity. I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to afford to ship them all but not only will they pick up the shipping, they will earmark them for Shymkent. Now I just need to sort, pack everything and take them to the post office....LeLe, Megan...hint, hint.

Kayla has regressed a little with the crying at night thing. Not sure if it was NeNe laying with her over Thanksgiving or all the hub bud from the party or her just trying to torture me. I'm working on this HOPEFULLY being the 3rd night in a row that she DOESN'T cry. Wish me luck!

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY KAYLA

2008-12-03T17:58:00.000-08:00

First of all, yes I know I have been away a l o n g time. Boring computer problems but its all good now and I couldnt let Kayla's birthday go by without a post. Since its a work night and my boss is in town the extent of our celabration was Steak and Shake take out. However, we have quite the shindig planned for Saturday. Its a lunch party at Turkey Lake Park. I think we are up to about 25 people. Even have some people coming up from Fort Lauderdale which is quite the surprise and very exciting! Did you know its a lot of work putting on a little kids birthday party??? The next one Kayla is going to have to put on. Ive decided to change her birthday to May 3rd....the weather is better and its not right between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Do you think she would mind?

We have had a few firsts since I last wrote...
- Our first Halloween (Kayla was an FSU cheerleader)
- The first anniversary of our court date
- Our first trip to Disney World
- Our first Thanksgiving
- Our first set of Christmas pictures which came out great!
- First Christmas tree (every morning I brain wash her with, "do you touch the tree? Noooooo")

Kayla is talking a lot more, Just this week she is saying a lot more two phrased sentences. This weekend she even said, to my shergrin, "go away"....warms your heart doesn't it.

It's Potty Time

2008-10-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This post

I bought Kayla a Elmo potty seat just so she could get use to seeing it around and warm up to the idea. She certainly has watched me "potty" enough to get the whole idea. When I first took it out of the box it became her favorite toy. She put blocks in it. Then a doll. She would sit on it fully dressed and say, "poo poo?" Every night after her bath she sits on her potty till I make her get off. Well tonight she actually did go poo!!!! Now, don't get me wrong, I have no delusions that this is the start of anything. Just a coincidence but hey, it was her first potty experience! I did rave about how wonderful she was and I could see her puff up with pride. I don't actually mind her being in diapers, sort of easier than having to remind them all the time to go.

I am very excited that NeNe (my Mother) is coming to visit this weekend for 4 days. The only bummer is Mark is NOT coming. I miss Mama but I'm also going to put her to work. Planning Kayla's birthday party has been driving me nuts. I finally have booked a park but need to do everything else. Her birthday isnt until 12/3 but I like to have all the details worked out.

After my last conversation with Bright House today, I am hoping my computer problems are all worked out and I'll be able to stay more up to date with the blog. Time will tell...

I'm Back!

2008-09-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

I have had computer problems for the last two months. I finally gave in and now have a Bright house router for $9/month. A lot to update but I'll give it a try...

- Had a great vacation at Nana (or NeNe's) and Grand dads. The Brock's came to Marco for the weekend and we had a great time. Kayla even went on Grand Dad's boat for the first time.

- Has a great visit with Cathy Baker (OK, really Ryle). She came to visit us all the way from California. We were lucky enough to also spend some time with her family including her Niece and Nephew who are also adopted but from Guatemala. Jacob was so sweet, even though he had gone to a water park and Disney he said he liked meeting Kayla the best because he didn't know many other adopted kids. Him and Jessica took Kayla swimming and read to her and played.

- Kayla passed her physical and blood work with flying colors. She is now 34 1/2 inches tall and 31 lbs. Right on track for her future career in basketball.

- We had her re adoption. It took about 5 minutes and luckily they let her run around the court room. Its just one more thing that shows the US govt acknowledges her as my daughter. The only bummer thing is I was reminded of something I learned in Civics class a million years ago....she cant be president! Maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

I am working on planning her birthday party. Its hard because I don't want people to feel they need to bring her presents and I don't want them to be bored. We don't have a lot of kids to invite. I really don't know anything about a kids party. What I am thinking of is lunch or afternoon get together at DR.Phillips Park and maybe a bounce house just because she likes it so much. Hopefully it wont be too cold. I'm thinking of saying no gifts but if they want they can make a donation to either Dave Thomas Adoptions or an orphan organization , hopefully in Kaz, but I don't want to seem preachy or I'm telling people what to do.

Kayla has her hearing test tomorrow and I am off to bed!

"A Pox Upon You"

2008-08-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

Although LeAnn hadnt heard the referance, maybe someone else has. Basically - Kayla has chicken pox. The good nes is since she had ONE of the chicken pox shots it should be mild and shorter. So far no fever and only a little of itching. The bad news is I just got back from vacation, used up all of my vacation time (the day care closed so I had to take off) and I am suppose to have a meeting with my boss on Tuesday. Oh, and I turn 45 on Wednesday and was suppose to have a nice dinner out. Now I'm under "house arrest" so I dont start a plauge in Orlando.

This is what I figure happened....she had such a nice time on vacation last week (more on that next post) that she thought, "how can I have some more time off with Maw (not to be confused with the desired handle of Mama). I think once of the kids in day care said, "psssst....if you get chicken pox you stay home a long time". I beat it was that Michael - hes trouble I tell you.

Hopefully all of this will pass soon and I wont be fired.

Opps

2008-07-08T08:47:00.001-07:00

OK, I dont know what happened to the rest of my post but trust me - it was BRILLANT! Ok, ok I'll try to recreate....I was talking about shopping in Venice. It was a lot of fun but I dont know where the old, fat and poor people like myself shop.

I also got to stay in the famous Bevely Hilton where they have the Golden Globes and about 130 awards shows a year. I didnt see anyone famous but it was a treat for me. I've decided to add to my nearly empty "bucket list" staying in the worlds most famous hotels. Other people want to climb mountains, me i want a cushy bed and room service.

We also had a visit from "Auntie Jane". We love her even though she is a Yankee (shh, dont tell my folks). She is the PERFECT house guest - she doesnt want to run around all day. We had a lovely dinner at The Brocks and Jaimie even took Kayla swiming. She is so good with Kayla and I can tell Kayla loves to spend time with her. The rest of the time we just tooled around and did some shopping and went to Lake Eola. Jane seemed to think Florida in the summer was warm - hmmm, how strange.

I had 4 days off for the July 4th holiday but didnt go to my folks since I'll be vacationing there later this month. I hated to miss my step sisters annual visit with her family but theres always Xmas. No fireworks this year and was thrilled Kayla slept through all of the hoopla. I was very productive and cleaned my closet for a "Dress For Success" event. Even spent a day with LeLe looking at houses for her and another doing more fun stuff like going to the play ground and eating chicken wings!

LeLe and Megan babysat while I started a new class at church called, "What Every Mom Needs". So far I like it because all of these normal Moms (let's face it, normal isnt the first word that comes to mind when you think of Cathy), were expressing thoughts that I thought only I dad like what a thrill it is to go to the grocery store alone.

Megan also took Kayla swiming which has become her favorite thing.I actually spell it out now if we arent going so she doesnt get excited. Yesterday Miss. Krisie said they were going swiming and then put her brand new swim SHIRT on. She said Kayla thought they were NOT going swiming and started freaking out. She had to put the shirt in the water to show her what it was for. She's soooo cute. She is taking more swim lesson during vacation.

Upcoming events - visit from Aunt Karen, going to Baltimore and folks babysitting and vacation in Marco!

Happy July 4th!

2008-07-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

So much to catch up on....had a great trip to LA for work. Got to catch up with a lot of friends and see my friend from collage Jane. We shopped in Venice

UPDATE

2008-06-12T13:23:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I haven't updated in awhile. Now its been so long I don't know where to start. Here's a highlight...

- Went to Nana & Grand dads and had a great time. They babysat while I went to Boca/Deerfield for work. They even delivered Kayla again and it was on Mark's birthday!
- Swim lessons are over and Kayla now kicks her feet a little bit. We are hoping to have more lessons when I go to my folks in July.
- New "words" - hat, shoe, sock, quack, up and of course the sweetest "no" you've ever heard. Of course I doubt anyone but me would know that's what she says. Sometimes I worry but usually I know she will talk soon enough and I'll miss this nice semi quite time.
- We went to Monkey Joe's with Megan, Mary Sloan and aunt LeLe. If you don't know it it is basically every type of inflatable bouncy thing you can think of. Kayla could NOT stop laughing. She had a great time and the girls took great care of her.
- Saw Aunt Dana & the kids and even got some more hand me downs from Andrea - YEAH!
- Went garage sailing with Aunt Le Le and got even more toys if that is possible. Luckily got to go swimming too since it was about a million degrees.
- Sleep issues off and on. My Mom suspects it is after I leave her and travel. I'm in Tampa next week so I guess we can test that theory.
- Mama & Mark come next week to visit AND to babysit when I go to LA for work. I normally dont have back to back trips like this. Hope sweet potatoe is OK. Was hoping to see my friend Cathy Ryle but thats not going to work out. Do get to see another Dana and hopefully Jane from Calaforina not to be confused with Jane from New Jersey.
- Hopefully will see Diana and her kids this weekend.

I dont want to ramble too much so this is enough for now dont you think?

Calling Dr. Phil

2008-05-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

OK, I think I have officially given her first topic to blame me for when she goes to a shrink. I was talking on the phone with my step sister on the phone. I was running Kayla's bath and I started to hear her but it was muffled. She LOVES shutting doors so of course every door in the house was closed. I kept opening doors and no Kayla. I even checked the bathroom even though I always use the baby lock so she doesn't get into the tub. I finally undid the baby lock and went into the laundry and I could hear her a little bit more. Than I unlocked the garage door and there was my baby girl standing in the pitch black dark crying! I had popped out to the garage to get more milk and I guess she came out behind me but went another way. I hung up and gave her lots of hugs and told her I know she was scared and i was looking everywhere for her but she was safe. It was a total of maybe 3 minutes she was out there but I feel so guilty.

Later when she was in bed I went into the garage and closed the door to see how dark it was. It was COMPLETELY black. I started crying. I thought maybe it would be better in the morning and I did the same thing again. It was only slightly lighter. Luckily she doesn't seem scared of the garage at least.

We had bath time and played but surprise, surprise she woke up at 12:20 - 2 that night and last night at 3:30 AM but only for a few minutes but i was up till 4:30 AM. I'm exhausted and am literally praying she sleeps through the night and we get back on track. Wish us luck!

On another note, I was giving her her bath and am just AMAZED at how wonderful she is. she is just absolutly perfect and such a sweet little girl. Last night I started crying watching the news about China. She was trying to comfort me! I told her I was fine. Miss. Krissie says she does the same thing whenever someone at the daycare cries. How did I get so blessed???

First Swimming Lesson

2008-05-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

Kayla and I had our first swimming lesson today (well, I already know how to swim but didn't want to brag). Kayla looked so cute in her bathing suit, me not so much. I had been telling her for a few days that we were going swimming on Saturday and she seemed excited even though I know she has no idea what swimming is. I got there too early so decided to go ahead and take her in the pool. No surprise, she loved it. I am actually more worried about how much she likes the water. I'm afraid she will just jump in if she ever sees an unprotected pool without even thinking about it.

This wasn't one of those throw them in the water classes. We played some games like, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall(with Kayla sitting on a wall), Humpty Dumpy had a great fall (where I would pull Kayla into the water). Eventually I would bring her all the way under the water but she didn't seem to mind at all. The 2 year old with her though was a wimp! OK, OK, she was very cute and just more scared. We also did kicking exercises which consisted of me kicking Kayla's legs since she didn't seem to get that part. She liked everything except the kicking on her back. I gotta tell ya, I'M exhausted and it was only 30 minutes! I guess Kayla was too because she just woke up from a 2 hour nap which I though was just an urban legend Ms. Krissie was trying to get me to believe.

This is my first official Mothers Day (even though my dog Sammy use to send me cards - he was very smart). I was hoping to spend it with my Mom but that didn't work out. I'm just happy to be with Kayla. Kayla (via Nana) did send me flowers and a card. I took Friday off and went to the spa for a massage and facial to celebrate. I got a very nice unexpected surprise from the Brock family. They had one of Kayla's professional photos done and framed. I think it is 10 by 13 and it looks great. It was so very sweet of them and I certainly understand why they are "Brockstars".

For all of the women out there, whether your a Mom now, hope to be one day or are just a positive force in this world with no desire for two legged kids - Happy Mother's Day!

Clean Bill of Health!

2008-05-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

We (meaning Kayla) had our 18 month check up this week. She is the picture of health. She is in the 95th% for height and weight. She is 28 lbs and 32 1/2 inches. She got three shots and hardly cried and didn't seem to have any reactions later. She also had a TB test which she passed. The only test remaining on her adoption "to do" list is her stool sample. I though, "no problem" because I thought I could get Ms. Krissie to do it since she poops at daycare (sorry). Ms.Krissie has decided she wants no part of it. On one hand, I know she doesn't have parasites (or she wouldn't be at the 95% weight now would she?). On the other hand, its on the list of a reason. I figure Sunday will be sample day - what a way to celebrate my first Mothers Day!

Last night we had our 6 month home study. It caught me off guard because she has only been home 4 months but it goes by the court date. I have a great social worker and everything went well. She said Kayla was right on track and, "the poster child for adoption." I still have to get the report appositiled and send it and the pictures in.

I am taking Friday off and getting a massage and facial for Mother's Day. I am deducting the cost from Kayla's collage fund so its a gift from her (kidding). Saturday we have our first swim lesson at the YMCA. I don't think its actually a swim lesson but its also not the survival one. I was toying with the idea of leaving her in the nursery AFTER the class to work out since I know she will have a good time at the class and maybe associate nursery = happy place but I think she might be too tired. Thoughts anyone???

Bad Dream

2008-05-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

I had the worse dream last night! I know I had it because I was telling Melissa I use to worry I would forget Kayla some where like at the YMCA.In the dream, I went on a trip for work and at 7:30 PM realized I had never made any arrangements for Kayla. I hadn't heard from the day care and when I tried to call them and Rachel I couldn't use my cell phone. In the dream my cell phone was doing all of this crazy stuff like changing but it was always locked and I couldn't call about her.

What made it even worse is I went on this trip to help someone and they ended up not showing up so the trip was unnecessary. I woke up so stressed!

Does this mean I am OFFICIALLY insane???

First Trip To Epcot

2008-05-04T16:50:00.000-07:00

Another great weekend! I had lunch with Elizabeth and Conrad on Friday. He is 6 months old now and such a cutie pie. Tomoko and Fabrice came over Friday to visit and Tomoko gave us tickets to Epcot which was so sweet of her. Saturday morning Aunt Le Le and Megan came over and I cooked breakfast and we went to a garage sale a few houses down. Got some books and a Lilo outfit and a cowboy hat and horse for Kayla. It's a good thing because she doesn't have NEARLY enough toys or books. Oh, and clothes - she doesn't have nearly enough clothes!

I forgot to mention that Le Le and Megan babysat when I saw Wicked last week. Megan is so good with Kayla and Kayla just loves her. I don't understand why her Mom refuses to let her move in with me this summer though. Kinda selfish don't you think? Megan wants to be a pediatrician and I know she would be a great one.

My friend Sharon and her niece Melissa came up from Orlando for the weekend and we had a great time. We went to Epcot on Saturday. Kayla was great and even took a nap in her stroller. I was a little worried about her nap and didn't believe everyone who said she would sleep in her stroller. After all, I fell for their lies once that she would sleep all the way to my folks! Fool me once....

We had pizza at the house and Sharon let me sleep in and took care of Kayla. She got off easy because she gave Kayla her milk in her crib and she went back to sleep until 9:30! No fair, why doesn't that happen on my watch??? I did LOVE sleeping in. Today we went to the outlet mall and lunch. Kayla didn't have a nap until about 4 - 5:30 so I'm not sure how bedtime will go tonight. I am keeping her up a tad later.

Melissa is a very sweet girl. She is going to school to be a photographer and I enjoyed asking her all types of questions and learning from her. The only problem with Sharon visiting is she does too much! She even stayed and washed the sheets and towels and made her bed. She always brings me a gift. Of course its wonderful but I just want her to relax and have a good time.

Kayla has a busy week. She turned 17 months, has her 18 month check up (don't ask) on Tuesday and the social worker comes Wednesday for her 6 month evaluation. Seems weird because she hasn't been home 6 months yet. I guess I better start cleaning!

Great Week!

2008-05-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

Besides my cable and Internet being down, we had a great weekend. Lori and Jaimie came by to see Kayla and took her to the park so I could take a bath without actually entertaining someone! Kayla really like Jaimie and she is great with her. I even got to read a magazine.

That night I FINALLY got to see Wicked after YEARS of waiting. It was FANTASTIC. I have season tickets but it made me think I was getting ripped off by all the other shows because the singing was so much better than the other shows combined.

Sunday my friend Kristie and her family came to meet Kayla before going home to Key West. I hadn't seen her in a couple of years so it was great to spend a little bit of time with her and her kids are adorable.

Tuesday I had my last parenting class at church (it was only 3). Since last weeks class had been canceled and this was an extension, most people didn't show up. It was actually great because we got to talk more and get advice and share ideas. The facilitator, Heather, said she really is going to try to form a MOPS group for working Mom's. Even if it doesn't happen I appreciate her efforts and acknowledging the need.

Tomorrow my friend Sharon and her niece Melissa come for the weekend. I'm looking forward to meeting Melissa since I've heard about her for years. I was hoping to go to Epcot for the flower show but my hospitality card expired. I was next hoping to get a babysitter so we could go to a nice dinner and a movie (my dreams are simple) but my baby sitter is only available 2 - 6 PM. Now I cant decide if its worth it for lunch and a movie. I really do want to see a movie though....

OK< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">didn't realize I am actually married to a handsome, rich man). This is the FIFTH night Kayla has not only gone to bed with no tears but has slept through the night!!!! I'm afraid I am going to jinx it by sharing. I used some techniques from the parenting class. I have no idea if it was that, some crying it out or blind luck but I am thrilled and thankful. Wish us luck that it lasts!

Comic Relief

2008-04-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

I just gotta share what just happened....its one of those classic, "I cant believe this!" things. I just put Kayla to bed WITHOUT the sippy cup. She didn't even get fussy. She was just perfect. I put her down in her crib and covered her up. I went to put her sippy cup in her crib in case she woke up during the night to prevent her from SCREAMING for it. I DROPPED THE SIPPY CUP ON HER HEAD AND WOKE HER UP!!! I hope you see the irony...that darn sippy cup always gets in the way one way or the other.

She was fine by the way (I'm not that mean) and went back to sleep (still without the cup) in less than a minute but believe me I had it hoovering ready to pop it in her mouth if she didn't stop. I really felt like laughing or crying and like I must be being punked or something. Its probably one of those stories that doesn't really translate well.

BTW, I forgot to tell you what a genius my baby is. Yesterday, after playing fetch, when i was getting her bath ready I said, "Can you go get Mama's brush?". Sh event across the house, into my bathroom and came back with my TWO brushes. Come on, ya gotta admit that pretty smart for someone who has only heard English for about 4 months. She is obviously the smartest baby EVER.

Confessions of a Single (tired) Mom...

2008-04-17T17:10:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Cathy and I'm a single Mom.....last night I played fetch with my daughter. I was taking a bath and of course Kayla was right by the tub wanting to be entertained. I wasn't feeling 100% and wanted at least 30 seconds to myself so I kept throwing a little plastic duckie into the bedroom and Kayla would go and get it and bring it back to me. If she thought it was a game and had fun is it REALLY wrong?

I've decided that Kayla has a personality disorder. When I ask her "wheres Kayla?", she points at herself (good answer). When I ask, "where's Mama?", she (again) points at herself. Isnt that how Sybal start out? It is also a possibility that it is the same thing I think is happening with , "where's your ears?" and she points to her nose (sometimes). I think she remembers whatever the last correct answer was and goes back to that.

I went to a parenting class at church this week called STEP. I was a little worried about leaving Kayla at the nursery since she hasnt been doing so well with that but everything worked out well. I went early and took her to the church play ground and then stayed in the nursery for a bit. She was the first one there so the care giver got to spend some one on one time with her. They said she was only a tiny bit fussy - YEAH!!! This weekend I will try going back to the YMCA but at a differant time when its not crowded.

I really like the class. It wasnt the material as much as hearing from more experianced parents. It also made me feel i wasnt doing so bad. I cant believe its only a 3 week class. Its like they are saying, "being a parent is so easy you can do it in 3 easy lessons!". I talked to the instructor afterwards and it came up that the church really doesnt offer anything for working Mom's, just stay at home Moms. She seemed very sincere about seeing if they could do some of the stuff on Saturdays but we will see.

No real plans for the weekend....any suggestions (beside the cleaning and laundry I need to do)?

The Experiment is a Sucess!

2008-04-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not talking about Frankenstein as a brother for Kayla made out of spare toy parts. I'm talking about my parents watching Kayla while I went away 2 nights on business. I knew she would be fine, I was more worried about her exhausting them. Luckily my step sister and her family were there to help out. For some crazy reason my parents said they would do it again! It could work out well since it is 4 hours to see them and Fort Lauderdale/Miami are 2 hours from there so I could spend the wknd and then pop across alligator alley for work. Mark even delivered Kayla to Fort Lauderdale for me which saved me that 2 hour drive. How can you beat service like that???

We had a nice visit too. My Mom's friends threw not one, but really three birthday parties for her. We started out at the folks house and then had a fantastic dinner at Cheryl & Wards and then birthday cake, champagne and Irish coffee at Ray and Rubetta's. It was so nice to see how many people care for my folks. Kayla did pretty well and she even got to stay up past her bedtime! I was worried she would be overly excited but I guess she was beat because she went to sleep pretty easily.

In case there was any doubt, I admit I'm insane. The last thing in the world Kayla needs is more clothes so what did I buy her this weekend? Two short sets (well, i think they are SUPPOSE to be PJ's) from "Big Dog", 3 short sets from Walmart (they were $7 each - how could I resist?) and three short sets, an adorable dress and a capri set from Osh Kosh (I had a coupon AND they were on sale...I'm only human!). This is going to be like my beanie baby and Hummel addition I just know it but everything is sooooo cute darn it.

This wknd we went to Baccas Bash with Lori and Jaimie. It worked out well because we saw some people from work who hadn't seen Kayla. I TRIED to go to the gym but after 10 minutes they came and got me because Kayla was crying. Did I mention its not my fault when I get fat? I took her with me to church rater than risk the nursery. I knew she would like the music. She was 90% "good" and 10% exercising her lungs with this new screech she has learned to do.

This weeks goal....to extinguish her doing rasberries which I take full blame for. some how it was adorable when we taught it to her in the baby house, I guess just to get a smile from her, but now it's gotta go! Luckily her friends at the day care are helping out. Wish me luck.

I Faught the Sippy Cup & The Sippy Cup Won

2008-03-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

After two naps this weekend WITHOUT the sippy cup I was feeling pretty full of myself. Sunday night when she didn't instantly start having a melt down when I put the books away I thought, "OK, tonight is the night!" and tried to put her to sleep without the stupid sippy cup. Well that went over like a lead balloon. I finally put her in her crib thinking she would fall asleep in a few minutes because she had to be tired from the day and crying. About 40 minutes and a conversation with my Mother - I gave her the darn cup! My biggest fear is that now I've taught her to hold out and cry for what she wants (which she doesn't do now -well, not yet).

all of the experienced parents I know ask, "so why are you trying to stop the sippy cup?". I guess I think it will be easier now then when she gets even more addicted. I just have water in there so I guess her teeth wont rot and I take it away after she falls asleep. When you think about it, she is only 16 months (this week), has only been in the country 3 months (today) and doesn't use a bottle or pacifier. Maybe I'm asking too much of her so I officially throw in the towel until its time to potty train and then God help me!

I changed our routine. Now we read books in the rocker so I get my snuggle time. I then TRY to rock her. When she gets tired of that (in 2.1 seconds) I kiss her and say , "night, night" and put her in the crib, give her the stupid cup and rub her belly. It is actually easier on me than waiting till she falls asleep. Time will tell if I have scarred her for life.

As soon as I resolve one issues, another one pops up. If your old enough to remember Rosana Rosana Danny from Saturday Night Live (or watch reruns), as she said..."it's always something". I think Kayla has some separation anxiety going on. She cried at the YMCA nursery again, even when i went in with her. I'm putting it on the record - if I get fat, its her fault not mine! I also went to a play Saturday and as soon as she saw Rachel (who keeps her overnight) she started crying. She said she eventually got her to stop but that she was fussy. I didn't go to church Sunday because I didn't want to put her in the nursery and she certainly wont sit quite even in the contemporary service. Hey, I'm adding to the official record that if I go to hell, that's Kayla's fault too! OK, that may be pushing it a tiny bit. I guess I can leave the house once she is in high school. I don't want her to be uncomfortable but I actually take it as flattering that she only wants to be with me (until I want to do something without her of course). Good thing I didn't have a life before her. Wait, maybe I could blame her for that too.

My Mother turns 70 today. I would never believe it. we are preparing to go down there to celebrate with a party. I guess Kayla will be in two which makes me nervous since we will be going to other people's houses. Since my step sister and her family are coming, my parents bought a new day bed and trundle for us. I don't know how Kayla will do, especially for naps, unconfined. That and the 4 hour car drive are the nerve wracking parts. Kayla starts whining after about 20 minutes. My parents are going to try keeping her overnight for 2 nights so add that to the worry list. Hey, I think I may have figured out why I cant sleep!

Sippy Cup Rehab

2008-03-26T05:52:00.000-07:00

I've created a monster. It started out simple enough, I guess the same any addiction does. at first i would just give Kayla her sippy cup with water at bedtime only when all else failed and she was having a melt down. Then her need grew and eventually she was jonesin for the sippy cup every night. She needs the sippy. I couldn't stand to see her so upset so I became her enabler and her sippy cup connection. I know I should break it off now, before her addiction gets worse but its just so easy to give in. Last night I heard her on the monitor and I listen I am pretty sure she was singing, "they wanted to send me to rehab and I said no, no, no..." OK, maybe that is an exaggeration but it has gotten to where she wont even let me rock her. She instantly starts crying for the cup. I want to snuggle and rock but she wants the cup. Its driven a wedge between us like all addictions do. I figure I will either bite the bullet when she is totally over her cold or wait until its time to potty train. I know, earlier is better. Any suggestions?

On a totally unrelated note, did you know babysitters are expensive? I have tickets to Spamalot this Saturday and am really looking forward to it but at $10/hour I'm not sure how many nights I'll be going out.I leave for my second overnight trip tomorrow. I have time to take Kayla to the park in the morning to buy her love and ease my guilt. Not sure if she will remember Rachel or if she will be , "hey, I know whats going on here and I'll have no part of it." I just hope everything goes well. Some how she is going to have to adjust and I have to focus on that she will survive. I'm going to have one to two trips a month so theres no way around it. I'm hoping at least I get a full nights sleep without imaging I hear her crying (or she really is). I go to my Mom's in two weeks and she is going to watch her for one or two nights while I make a trip. Its an experiment and I hope Kayla doesn't exhaust her or drive Mark crazy. I think my step sister will be there and she can help.

There is one possible solution.....how many lottery tickets can you buy at once?

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

I started out the weekend a little sad because we were all alone but then I changed my outlook. Instead of focusing on not having any family with us, I focused on that Kayla and I are a family. Sure, I would love to have my folks here or to have a big extended family (or a husband) to share the holiday with but Kayla and I may be small but we are a family. I just hope that when she gets older she doesn't feel she is missing out.

We went to a birthday party at Maggie's and I met her new baby Benji. He's soooo small! I mean he's a normal size baby but since I met Kayla when she was 10 months old I forget how small babies are. I wish I knew Kayla when she was that age or at least had a picture. It was a nice party and my first with Kayla. Benji is adorable. Besides having to follow her around to keep her out of trouble she was a good girl (of course). She even fell asleep in the car on the way home - YEAH!

Today we went to church, the school play ground and dinner at Leann's. I actually was lucky enough to also be invited to Lori's but her parents were here and I didn't want to intrude. I've thought a lot about that because I know they are sincere that its not an intrusion. I think its because I always wanted that big family and was on the outside looking in that I just cant believe that I'm wanted and in the way. I don't even know if I'm clear myself. Anyway, I hope she Inst upset with me because her friendship means the world to me.

At Leann's it was just a normal, very nice, dinner not the whole big family holiday thing. Kayla got a little more comfortable with the dogs and even petted Rex. Megan did a great job of wearing Kayla out. This is the third night in a row she went to bed pretty easily. She had been having "issues" but I think it may have been because she was sick. She is almost over her cold so I think we both got off easy.

To Trudy...thank you for your comment about no one knowing what to do. That was great because I keep thinking I am missing some gene that everyone else has that tells me exactly what to do. sometimes, I have tried everything I can think of (mainly if she wakes up in the middle night) and I'm waiting for that instinct to kick in but it never seems to.

And the Worst Mother In the World Goes To.....

2008-03-18T17:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, that would be me. I got a call from the day care yesterday that Kayla had a fever of 102! Hindsight being what it is it explains why she was more whiney on Sunday and maybe why she didnt want to stay as long at the park on Saturday. I thought it was just because it was so hot (about 85). I had even told her during snuggle time yesterday, "your my little hot water bottle". Well of course she was, SHE HAD A FEVER!!!! What kind of loser Mom doesnt notice?? I will put some of the blame on Kayla. She was eating and playing like normal. Besides, by now she should know she has to pretty much hit me with a bat for me to figure things out.

So I called the dr and they did not want to see her because she had no other symptoms. I respected thier professional opinion so I waited 10 minutes and called again and spoke to someone else who said i could come in as long as I knew I might be back in a few days - DEAL! No surprise, they said they couldnt tell anything and to watch her. It wasnt a wasted trip because 1) it made be feel better, 2) the Dr confirmed I was right and Mama was wrong and that Kayla is NOT boy legged and as they say in the commercial thats "priceless" and 3) they taught me how to use my ear thermomitor (another testimony to me being a loser Mom).

Today she woke up happy, no fever, was the energizer bunny playing. Now I think she was faking the whole time to get out of school. Too young??? She is tricky. Even though she was health as a clam (I digress but there is "happy as a clam" - do we know clams are happy?) I had to stay home because thats the day cares rules. It brought to light that in my work/life balance plans I did not plan for what to do when she is sick, or in this case well. What if I was traveling and the day care called? I dont have anyone who could go and get her. I have to figure something out but in th emeantime I'm making sure she gets her viatims and making sure she doesnt hold the thermoter up to a light bulb.

"On the Road Again..."

2008-03-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

Well it had to happen sometime but I made my first overnight trip for work this week. I think things went well but I suspect next go around Kayla will be wise to what is going on and not fall for it.

I had Rachael (who is a HS teacher and former Nanny I found through Craigslist) come the night before my trip to practice and get to know Kayla. They seemed to hit it off but because they were "bonding" I didn't get to spend as much time with Kayla as I had hoped. I left Rachael annoyingly detailed instructions and asked her to call me after she got Kayla to sleep because i knew that would be the toughest thing.

So, Kayla's bedtime is 8 PM. I'm out to dinner at a fancy place holding my cell phone so I don't miss the call. The phone doesn't ring. When we got back to the hotel it was 8:30 PM and still no call. I finally called at 8:45 PM and NO ANSWER!!! Like any reasonable person I assumed that Rachael had stolen Kayla and sold her on the black market. Lori seemed to think that explanation was a stretch and was kind enough to offer to dive us back to Orlando from Fort Lauderdale. Luckily Rachael called at 9 PM. She said she wanted to make sure Kayla was really down. She said things went well, Kayla cried a little and that sh thought she missed me. WELL SHE BETTER MISS ME!!!

When I picked her up from day care she seemed no worse from the wear. I did have to get her from the YMCA day care because she was crying which has never happened. Unfortunately it was AFTER my workout darn it! I thought maybe it had to do with me leaving her. She was fine at the church's nursery today.

Speaking of church, next Sunday is Easter and I got stuff to make Kayla her first Easter basket. Its hard to find things for a baby but everyone acted like I beat her when I didn't do anything for Valentines Day. I also made mini banana muffins for day care tomorrow. Now if I can just remember to dress her in green!

Broken Hearted

2008-03-04T18:17:00.000-08:00

Kayla broke my heart yesterday! When i picked her up fro day care she clung to Ms. Krissie and whined : < (
Yes, I know its a good thing that she likes her and has fun there but lets be honest, you'd be hurt too. I worry since she spends more time there than she does with me she will think I am the baby sitter and she is the Mama.

I told Ms.Krissie my concerns and she put my mind at ease. I also made of point of putting Kayla down today when I dropped her off, not passing her to Ms, Krissie. She just walked right past her to go play and when I said "bye" she came back over to hug me. When i picked her up her little face just lite up and she ran over to me. Say it with me...AWWWWW. Yes, she was very sweet and it made me quite happy.

Last night she was awake off and on (mainly on) from 12:30 - 3 AM. Do you know why? THEN TELL ME!!! I have no clue. Its like she would fall asleep for about as long as it takes me to get back to my bed and sigh, "ahhhh" and then she would start crying again. She seemed fine, just couldn't sleep. It did lead me to invent (only in my head) baby Tylenol PM. Ah come on, you know you'd use it if you knew it was safe. There is just no rhyme or reason. Some nights she sleeps all night. Some nights she is up 2 - 3 hours. If it were EVERY night I would believe Lori that I should shorten her nap. I've tried explaining to her that i cant take naps at work and need my sleep but she isn't buying it.

We are very excited, Nana and Grand dad are coming to visit this weekend. Aunt Cee Mee was here last weekend and made us dinner and added to Kayla's pre cooked healthy meals. I am so lucky to have Kayla or no one would ever visit me!

A shout out to Sandi who leaves for Kaz this week to meet her daughter! Very exciting and I wish you safe travels and all of the best. I cant wait to read all about your adventures.

My Favorite Time Of Day

2008-02-29T10:04:00.000-08:00

Is now the mornings. No, its not because Kayla is kind enough to wake me up by 7 AM every single day, weekend or not. It is because of our morning routine. She has gotten to where she will play a little bit in her crib in the morning (verses crying the instant she gets up). This give me time to wake up nicely instead of bolting out of bed. I go into her room and say "good morning!!" all happy, even when I'd rather be sleeping. She hands me her blanket and any toys in her crib to put away which I think is adorable. I am also holding onto the dream that this means she will clean up after herself as she gets older. I tell her what a great job she did sleeping through the night (sometimes) or sleeping till 7 AM. I know its insane but I actually point at the clock and clap at what a good job she did. Change her diaper and then the best part...

I go and get her sippy cup with milk, which I have all ready in the fridge, and we go into my bed and snuggle. Since she is still sleepy and in a milk como she lets me snuggle with her without insisting on playing. Well at first anyway. We practice, "wheres your nose? Ear? Mouth? Toes?" She does this thing where she pushes on my face and I pretend she turned my head because she is so strong. I rub her little tummy and play with her toes. I pretend to drink from her sippy cup. We practice her actually puckering her lips before she kisses me. It is really just the best part of my day. I do it everyday, even when I'm working, but can do it longer when I'm off. I'm always a bit surprised she isn't cranky from being hungry because sometimes we snuggle/play for 30 minutes.

She is always sweet but when she is wide awake she is go, go, go. Is it wrong of me to take advantage and get my snuggles in while her defenses are down??? I'm hoping she lets me continue this tradition until she leaves for collage.

Back To Reality

2008-02-24T17:45:00.000-08:00

Well it had to happen some time since I did NOT win the lottery like I was planning. I went back to work full time on Monday. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but i"d rather be home with Kayla (well, most days). My first day was the roughest. I had to be at work by 7:45 AM so I had to actually wake Kayla up - now theres a switch! We didn't have time to snuggle like we do every morning. I was shoving grits into her mouth so fast I though she was going to gag. I had a work dinner that night and Leann and Megan were kind enough to babysit. I got home just in time to put her to bed. Luckily she was pooped and went to sleep without any problem. I missed my Kayla!!

I think Kayla has adjusted fine to day care. In fact I worry that she like Miss. Krissie more than me and am waiting for her first word to be "Mama" but to her instead of me. I know, I know, its good that she likes her so much. I'm very lucky to have found some place she is so happy and its so close.

This is the first weekend, I think since we got home, that we ha vent had company. At first I was at a loss with what to do but then I was inspired! I went to the grocery store and bought the materials and containers to make Kayla a bunch of meals to freeze. They either have white or sweet potato or star pasta, chopped chicken, ground turkey or diced ham, a cup of mixed veggies and some veggie baby food as sort of a sauce.It was a lot more work than you would have thought and Kayla was not pleased that she did not have my full attention. I AM A GENIUS I TELL YOU!

We also tried to taking a nap together. That will be the only time. I couldn't sleep with her wiggling and me moving kept waking her up. Speaking of sleep...Kayla has been doing great and has even started entertaining herself in her crib for a bit in the mornings. This morning I woke up and looked at the clock and it was 7:20. I jumped out of bed thinking she was sitting there waiting for me and guess what....she had her little butt in the air and was still asleep! She stayed asleep until 7:50. Of course I couldn't go back to sleep waiting for the monitor to go off.

Besides that we went to church for me and the nursery for her. On the way home I stooped by the local school to play on their play ground instead of fighing the wknd crowds at the real play ground. We were the only ones there. Did I mention I'm a genius?

Well tomorrow starts another full week so I am off to bed. Oh my, its already 9:05 - late night for me!

Kayla's Resume

2008-02-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

As a Human Resources professional I know the importance of having a solid resume so I have started on Kayla's.

OBJECTIVE: To sleep through the night and learn to say "Mama"

SKILLS:

-Blowing rashberries with my mouth and on Mama's leg

- Waving "bye, bye" (to everyone, all the time)

- Eating and tearing paper

- Pulling TP off the roll

- Pulling my socks off

OK, its a work in process but at least its a start - right? Do you think its enough to get her a scolorship to a private school?

Things are going well and we have been lucky enough to have some great visators. Aunt Suzanne and Cousin Ashley came all the way from Atlanta. They were a big help and we had lots of fun.

Then we went to see the folks at Marco Island. They had a surprise "Welcome Kayla" party where all of thier friends were there. It was so nice to get to see everyone and they were all so great with Kayla.

This last weekend Dana, Kenneth and Andrea came to visit from Fort Lauderdale. We went to the park and Downtown Disney and the kids had a good time playing.

This weekend Auntie Jane comes to visit from the big apple!

With all of the visators and presents I'm a little worried that Kayla is going to get a big head and think this is the way it will ALWAYS be. Eventually the new will wear off and it will just be normal life and she will be , "hey, what's up with this?"

Sunday we had our Baptism class. I am shamed to report that Kayla was the WORST kid there. Of course she was also the oldest so sitting still and being quite for an hour was no thrill. If she though that was bad wait until tomorrow....we go to get her shots!

Formal Apoligy

2008-01-13T16:35:00.000-08:00

I would like to offer a formal apology to all of my friends, coworkers and total strangers who have had kids before me for not getting it when they told me it was 3 PM, they were still in their pajamas and couldn't remember the last time they bathed. I get it now. I humbly apologize.

I have been flying solo for a few days already. Mark left Monday after making the house a safe haven for Ms.Kayla and Mama left on Tuesday. Things have been going well. I realized I was going stir crazy so have been going out more. Its sort of hard to figure out a schedule and I just don't know where the day goes. We have now been to Super Walmart, the social security office, the YMCA twice, church once (which didn't work out so well) and even day care for half a day. Yesterday Megan, Jamie, Kenny and Lori and I went to the park and wore Kayla out. She has seemed to enjoy everything. She loves looking around at everything (hence the problem at church). I even went to Lori's SURPRISE Birthday party and Kayla had Aunt LeLe and Cousin Megan babysit. They were troopers since she wasn't thrilled about going to sleep that night.

Sleep is getting a bit better. She sleeps everyday till 7 or 7:30. I have tried to explain that weekends are for sleeping in but she isn't buying it. I've given up on a morning nap which I guess is one less transition she will have to make. still waking up during the night a few times and I have experimented on ways to get her back to sleep without hopefully creating a "crutch". Basically I have no idea if i am doing anything right but I am doing the best I can.

We are very excited that Aunt Suzanne and Cousin Ashley are coming to visit this weekend from Atlanta. I have time to get the house semi clean and go grocery shopping. I'm thinking of putting them in my bedroom in case Ms. Kayla is still waking up each night. At least they will get a good nights sleep. Hopefully Aunt Dana, Sharon and Karen will soon follow.

Bonding Update

2008-01-06T03:34:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd give you an update on how our bonding is going. You will have to ask Kayla her opinion of course but I think it has gone well. I was very touched when I got into the car in Kaz and she instantly gave me a big hug....until I saw her hug BF and Grand Dad too. For the first few days in Kaz, Kayla would cry anytime I left her sight. Eventually she was fine (usually) staying with Grand Dad so I could actually take a shower or poddy. Now that we are home, she does come to me when she is tired or upset or being shy. It really does seem to me like she knows that I'm the Mama but maybe I am being naive.

I think we have found a day care. I'm on the waiting list for two but have found a home day care in the subdivision next to mine. We checked it out yesterday and it seems perfect. The lady has been doing this since 1994 and her whole downstairs is dedicated to kids. She also has a great yard and patio for kids to play. Plus, it is very close to home/work. That's a big load off of my mind. This morning we meet with a woman who seems to be a good candidate to stay with Kayla when I travel for work.

Mark has been busy baby proofing the house. Every where you look there is something else that could be a hazard. I think soon I will be living in the garage with nothing in there that Kayla could be shooved into her little mouth. Mama continues to be on poopie diaper duty and helping out with Miss. Kayla. They have been a great help but so far refuse to move in with me - whats up with that?

Sleep update....I am thrilled to announce that Kayla slept through the night last night. I didn't even have to get up with her, just do "shhhh" a few times from the bed in her room and she put herself back to sleep. Of course since she feel asleep at 7 PM AGAIN last night she woke up AGAIN at 5:30 AM. Have I mentioned I am NOT a morning person? I am thrilled with this progress and hope it continues.

Once we tackle sleeping we will move on to what Kayla thinks is the funniest thing in the world...biting.

Progress???

2008-01-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

I got some great advice from the Kaz yahoo groups about how to help Kayla (and me) get a good nights sleep. We TRIED to keep her up late but she only made it to 7:45 PM. Last night I slept in Kayla's room (which was my original plan but changed when my folks stepped up for night duty). Anytime she woke up I would "shhhh" her and rub her back/tummy until she went back to sleep. I was terrified around midnight because I was expecting her to wake up for the rest of the night. She did wake up but I was able to get her back to sleep after about 30 minutes. Same at 3:30 AM. Bottom line, she slept till 7:30 AM!!!!! We both had a lot of interrupted sleep but at least she slept through the night.

Today we went to Target and some other errands. We rushed home but she feel asleep in her car seat. I TRIED to just put her in her crib (a move I have not mastered) but she woke up. I tried and tried but she would have no nap. I figured it might help her sleep longer tonight. I'm worried that last night was a fluke since she was so exhausted from not getting sleep the night before.

We had our first dinner out tonight and Kayla was great. Of course she fell asleep in her car seat again at 7 PM. So much for keeping her up late. We'll see what happens tonight....wish me luck!

Jet Lagged Baby

2008-01-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

So, I got overly optimistic that we were making progress on the sleep issues when Kayla slept through the night two days ago when she finally collapsed from exhaustion two nights ago. No such luck. Last night she couldn't hold her eyes open anymore. Then she was wide awake from her "nap" at 11 PM. Didn't go back to sleep until 5 AM. Luckily Mark stayed up with her most of the time (after the poopie diaper so messy had to have bath #2 incident).

Today we had our first doctors appointment. She said I had to think of Kayla as a new born and expect to get up every couple of hours....g r e a t. She also said, as did my adoption rep, to let her cry it out. Right now she is screaming from being put down for her nap and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I honestly don't know what to do. Different books say different things. I am going to post a question on the Kaz yahoo site today as well. She said it could take 2 weeks to a month for her time clock to reset and I'm already exhausted. I don't know what I am going to do after Mama and Mark leave.

Besides the sleep issue things are going well. If you aren't trying to get her to go to sleep she is happy and playful and can walk 80%. The other 20% I call her "drunken Sailor walk". The doctor is going to repeat her shots since I have no records but we don't have to start that right away. Want her to get adjusted more first. Will also do some blood tests and then we go back in a month.

Aunt LeLe and Cousin Megan came for a visit yesterday and Kayla enjoyed playing with them. They were also a big help getting the car seat adjusted properly. We may practice going to a restaurant...eventually.

Anyone have any advice on how to help expedite her clock adjusting??

We made it!

2008-01-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note before I collapse in bed to let everyone know we made it home. Kayla was great for about 28 hours of the trip. The last two she was that demon child everyone is cussing about on the plane. Luckily it was a plane to Orlando so it was filled with kids, half who were screaming. Getting her to sleep last night was a night mare but Mama and Mark took over and she finally went to sleep at 3 AM to wake up at 7:30 AM.

Today we worked on the whole jet lag and time change thing. Hopefully after a full nights sleep and adjusting a little bit tomorrow will be easier. Of, she was happy all day but this kid hates to sleep. We just need some time and lots and lots of patience.

Next post i will add some new pictures.

I feel I need to run to bed because I have no idea when she will wake up - good night and Happy New Year!

We Are Officially A Family!!!

2007-12-29T01:17:00.001-08:00

First of all, I did a post yesterday but somehow it didn't post so I apologize for the delay. So much to tell....

First of all we went to the Embassy yesterday and everything was processed in about 10 minutes. Kayla has her passport and visa to come to America. We were a little worried because my fingerprints didn't make it to the Embassy until 2 hours before my appointment.

We have gone on a city tour and a tour to the museum. Its all lovely but covered in this white frozen stuff they call "s n o w". I don't like it at all. Cant wait to be back in sunny Florida (or even mildly chilly Florida).

I realized after my initial rant that I hadn't given an update on Kayla. She has gained 4 lbs since I saw her last and has a lot more hair. It is coming in brown which will make my friends who think I should color my hair darker happy because now I probably will because she looks so good. I don't remember how tall she was before but now she is 30 inches. She like a nice poo after breakfast, does not car for a bath in the sink and God help you if you try to take her juice/water away from her. Sleeping has gotten better. The first night she woke up a few times crying and now just baby noises or one small cry and then back to sleep.

Things have been going well except she is reluctant to take her naps and then gets grumpy. Last night same thing at bedtime. I was worried Mark was going to have us evicted from the room. Speaking of, Mark has been great and actually knows more about babies than I think he knows. I have enjoyed our time together and I think he has too.

We met three couples here picking up their beautiful children. All seemed happy and healthy and Sandi, I think they all went to your region. They said the kids were all taken care of. I also spoke to the doctor at the SOS clinic and he said the kids he sees are healthy but have some pretty crazy diagnosis.

So, my questions are...

- How much fluid is a 13 month old need a day?
- Any tips on getting her to go down for naps and bedtime?
- Should I wake her up from both or just wait for her to wake up?
- Aren't babies suppose to be happy when they wake up in the morning? I don't think she is a morning person.

I read all (or most) of this before i left but am now second guessing myself.

A OK but.....

2007-12-25T23:51:00.000-08:00

I have become the ugly American. First the good news. After a long and pretty much uneventful trip Mark and I made it safely to Kaz. Because we were 2 hours late Kayla (and BF) were already in the car waiting for us once we made our way through the MOUNTAIN OF SNOW!!! We went straight to the SOS clinic and the doctor said Kayla was perfectly healthy and gave her the green light to be processed. We are getting along well and right now she is upstairs napping with Grandmark (my idea but Mark likes Grand Dad better).

Now for the ugly American part of my story....this is my second trip to Almaty with NO TRANSLATOR. We got into the car and BF and the new driver spoke in Russian the entire time (about an hour). Finally I asked "hotel or Embassy?" and got SOS as an answer.

No one took us to change money but we had to pay at the clinic. Still didn't take us to change money. Didn't take us to a grocery since it was snowing. Couldn't help with check in and confusion about the rate. No one told us when we go to the Embassy. I am having flash backs to being in the dark in Shymkent. Oh, and I wasn't told I would need to pay a $724 fee for transporting Kayla and her new duds TODAY - I thought it was in my final fees so now I am short on cash. I did not get ANY information, despite asking my agency to specifically request it, on Kayla's schedule, feeding - rally anything at all. Its as if I found her on the side of the street. I feel a bit better now that I have vented.

Did I mention it is about 0 and there is snow everywhere? It is really beautiful but it turns out snow is actually very, very cold and almost like ice to walk on. Needless to say we are staying in today. Luckily there is an internet in the hotel so I can stay in touch.

HAPPY BOXING DAY!

Social Butterfly

2007-12-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

I have been quite the social butterfly these last two weeks. Sometimes I get the impression its because my friends know something I don't know like once Kayla gets here I'll be under baby house arrest and i wont ever see them again. I've really have enjoyed seeing everyone because 1) I have great friends, 2) I have generous friends who have offered great support, advice AND presents for Kayla (they are spoiling both of us)and 3) I have a feeling I will just want to hole up with Kayla when she gets home and it will take awhile for me to build up my confidence to actually take her to dinner. So, what have I been doing you may ask....
- Tina and her friend Walt came to visit me, well OK they really came to visit Mickey but they stayed with me. Kayla got a lovely basket full of goodies plus a lovely vase.
- I had dinner with my friend Dana who gave me a ton of great hand me downs (which I keep calling "left overs" for some reason) from her beautiful daughter Andrea and her generous co-worker Maria.
- I had breakfast with April and Misty which required me to be dressed and ready at 7:30 AM. I figure its good practice for Kayla in case she is an early raiser. Both gave me the cutest little outfits that I wish I could fit into.
- My friend Stacey, who lives in England, came and stayed the weekend and helped me organize all of the clothes I was given and have bought over the last year.
- We had our two Cluster lunches AND our Regional lunch. It was great to be able to slow down and actually talk with these great people.
-Next I met a new friend, Sandi. She is also adopting from Kaz. She has been a great resource for information. She has lots of practice of kids so I know being a Mom is going to be an easy transition for her and she will be a great Mom. she loaned me all kinds of things for my trip plus brought me "no jet lag" which I had not even heard of before it was posted on my blog. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it works.
- i had dinner with Lee to return her one million DVD's she loaned me for trip one. For this trip i am mainly bringing DVD's for Kayla and just a couple for me.
- My old room mate, Tomoko, and her boyfriend (who also painted the nursery) came over for a visit and to see the completed nursery.
- I have a friend Jim in from NYC so we got together for my last adult beverages. It was great to see him and catch up even for a little bit.
- Leann came over yesterday and helped me weed through the clothes and food I have set aside for Kayla and help me decide what goes into the diaper bag. Of course this was in between her laughing at me because f things I have that she alleges is only for babies. she has been a great help just keeping me calm during this progress and helping me to have get semi organized.
-Cee Mee and her lovely sisters and cutie pie nephew came to a late lunch yesterday. I finally eat one of my "Let's Eat" meals that I put together figuring it would help me have normal people meals instead of cheese nips for dinner. They are all doing well but so far she does not seem to be following through on my request for her to pick up her life and move to Orlando. I seem to be getting that a lot when I try to sell that idea. She got Kayla Kenneth Cole shoes. I don't have Kenneth Cole shoes. I have Payless shoes. There is going to be no living with this kid when she becomes a teenager!
- I surprised myself and actually went to my work holiday party after they left and had a great time. It was a gambling thing and I won $20,000 funny money. Of course the dealer was very nice and gave us lots of hints.
- Now I am off to breakfast with Jimbo and will see Carol later today and will go to pre Xmas eve service tonight and then Mark will be pulling into the drive way.

Whats my point in boring you with my impressive social schedule? To pint out that IT IS NOT MY FAULT if I am not yet packed or if I forget something!!! Kayla's things are mainly packed and mine are piled on my bed. That's almost like being packed - right?

Wish us luck that we don't have one of these awful weather delays I keep seeing on the news. I did see Kaz is expecting a warm front so it could go from the 11 it is now all the way up to 24 - maybe I should pack some shorts. I will TRY to post in Kaz but part of that depend on how cold it is and what a wimp I am and here's the big one....if Mark will watch Kayla so I don't have to take her out.

Almost Ready!

2007-12-21T07:00:00.000-08:00

I've been running around like a crazy person trying to get ready and I think I just have one thing tiny little thing to do....get the care seat installed. I KNOW, I KNOW! I have been to the fire station - no luck. Someone at work tried to help me - no luck. I have a lead on the Police Station to do it.

I appreciate everyone advice - keep it coming! I am one step away from asking strangers on the street. I have been surveying people on : specific examples of what to feed Kayla (those of you who know what I eat understand why, "whatever you eat" does not work), what goes into a diaper bag and how to deal on the plane.

Speaking of plane - did you know that you need to purchase an "infant in arms" ticket if you are traveling internationally? It is 10% of the normal ticket price. I was lucky enough to be able to use FF miles for mine and my Dad's ticket but because part of our ticket is business class (because that is all they had) her ticket is $850 and she can't get miles! I was bounced around between carriers for a 3 days before I finally relented after saying several times, "so your saying this ticket would SELL for $8,500???" We leave Xmas eve at 12:30, have a 10 hour lay over in Amsterdam (in a Hilton day room) on Xmas and land in Almaty at 5:45 AM 12/26. We land at 11 PM 12/31. We could come home on 12/29 but no seats were available. I'm going to try a few more times in case something opens up.

I had the best dream last night...I was holding Kayla and giving her lots of kisses. OK, she was sort of looking at me like, "are you done now?" but I woke up I was so happy. I have been focusing on getting my tasks done so this is really the first time I've let myself get excited and I can't wait!

This weekends focus, packing for us. I went and bought a bunch of winter things, which isn't as easy as it sounds in Florida. At first I was worried I had too much, now I'm worried I don't have enough. My friend Leann is coming over to help me decide what stays and what comes along.

I Got My Travel Dates!!!

2007-12-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

Hurry up, now wait....wait, now hurry up! That sums up the whole adoption process. In case there is ANYONE who has not heard, I received my travel dates last week. I was at a property visit and got a cryptic email from my adoption rep saying, "call me". As I was busy working, I emailed back, "do I have travel dates?" and he responded, "just call me : < )". That's when I knew!

They want me in Almaty 12/25 to pick up Kayla. I tried to be low key and contacted my friend Cindy who quickly called Delta and amazingly was able to put two tickets on hold using my frequent flyer miles. Since I am traveling over the holidays, no one was more surprised (and grateful) than I am. Thank you Cindy for all of your help. Now, where's my room for my 11 hour layover in Amsterdam : < ) ? See, I'm never satisfied!

So, now my step Dad and I leave 12/24 and get in 12/26 and come home at 11 PM 12/31. Does this mean Kayla can be a tax deduction for this year ???

Since I have originally been told travel 12/20 I was rushing around to get ready. When I was told it would be delayed until after the first of the year, I was disappointed but relaxed a bit. Now that its back on I am running around like a crazy person.

Technology I think I'm ready but I feel like everything has to be PERFECT and ready before I go. It's as if I think all of the stores will be on lock down when I get back or I will be under house arrest.

You should see the pile of things in the "maybe" pile to be packed. My friend Leann is coming over to help me weed it down. I am worried about having enough food and warm clothes for her and have no desire to go out in the snow shopping.

If I can just get her home and survive the process and the l o n g flight then I think the worst is behind us and we can focus on getting reacquainted and figuring out a schedule. Anyone have any suggestions on that?

Tick, Tock, Tick ,Tock

2007-12-11T12:32:00.000-08:00

First, yes I acknowledge that I have been a slacker since I have gotten back about writing. I sort of figured I was home so there was no story to tell but I always have a story to tell.

Now I am back to waiting for the phone to ring. My original estimate for the second trip was 12/20 but because of the holidays (including Kaz independence day/week) it doesn't look like I will travel before the new year. I go through phases with the wait - sometimes, when I am busy, I think "OK, now I have more time to get ready and to get organized". I have become obsessed with becoming organizing thinking that will be the key to making it "easy". Most times I have a clip from, "Not Without My Daughter" with Sally Field running through my head trying to figure out how I could break her out of the country. See why I need a kid, too much time to memorize movies. I still think Kayla could fit into my backpack - but it would be tight.

There has been a lot of traffic in my yahoo group about heart breaking stories of families coming home empty handed because of health issues with their referrals.I can't get their stories out of my head and pray for them each day. My feelings are a mix of feeling blessed that Kayla is so healthy, worring that there is something yet to be discovered and guilt because I am certainly in no way more deserving of a child than they are but somehow I have ended up so blessed. I feel confident that good will come from their experiences and they will all end up with the healthy child God meant them to have.

It's Official - I'm a MOM!!!

2007-11-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

I would always kind of brush it off when people would say I was going to be a Mom. I guess I was afraid it would jinx things if I acknowledged it prematurely. But now it's official! We went to court today and in a total of about 30 seconds they told me I was approved and congratulated me! I'm excited but I still can't get totally past, "I hope something doesn't happen". I don't know where I ever could have picked up that trait (hi Mom!).

This comes on the heels of a good sign about Kayla. Since we had court yesterday we didn't go to the BH at noon like we usually do and got there around 4 PM. The Care Takers said she was good until noon and then started crying and getting fussy. They said they see that between the two trips and it's a sign the baby misses you. "You like me, you really, really like me" (Sally Field accepting academy award reference). Now I'm not wishing her to be upset but I did take it as a compliment.

I think she has also gotten the hang of waving "bye, bye" and did it for the first time when it was appropriate. Her stuff cow says, "bye, bye" and turns itself off if you don't play with it (thank God!). When she heard it she waved. She is obviously gifted don't you think?

I can't believe tomorrow will be my last day with her. I am going to leave her a blanket and the bunny Jaime sent her. I have been showing her the bunny is for hugging, not chewing. She does both now.

Before I forget, those of you who think I am going to come home skinny just because I have only been eating what I can make in my room would be WRONG. I'm on a diet here that I like to call, "all carbs, all the time". Mama said we are the only two people to gain weight while we were starving.

I did have a dream the other night about an ice cold diet coke, in a can of course. It was so good I woke up from the carbonation - is that bad? Don't worry Cathy R - I will e a s e back into them and will, perhaps, continue to drink SOME water.

Court Part 2 - Piece of Cake

2007-11-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

What a difference! Of course I was nervous and we had two "oh no" moments but ever thing was fine. The Prosecutor is recommending I be approved and I will get the final decision tomorrow.

The two "oh no" moments were 1) when they fist sent us to a court room that had two criminals, one in a big cage, waiting. I thought "GREAT, now I have to do this with these scary people listening." Luckily it was a mistake. 2) When we went to the right court there was a young woman, who looked like she was 10, there in a uniform. I thought she was a bailiff or something but she was the Prosecutor. She kept smiling at me and was asking the other people questions before the judge got there so I thought, "this is going to be a slam dunk". All the way to the court the interpreter told me horror stories about this one Prosecutor and how tough he is and how he doesn't even understand his questions half the time and that he also speaks a little English so you have to be careful what you say. So, the judge comes in and as soon as we get started, evil Prosecutor comes in and nice, smiling prosecutor leaves! Luckily, the guy really wasn't bad at all.

They did start by basically asking you to tell them the entire story of how you decided to adopt and why Kaz. So, some of the questions I remember (some were the same as before):

- Do you get government support for being a single mother?
- Do you know aids and the aids problem Northern Kaz had?
- If baby develops aids will you send her back?
- If baby does not do well with the claimant will you send her back? (I did brag on Florida's claimant and say I didn't think that would be a problem).
- Why did you want a girl?
- What is your name, address, DOB, education level, employer.
- What is your plan for educating the child? Public or private school?
- It is better to get married and have have a baby, why didn't you do that?
- Who will care for the child?
- How will you teach the child about Kaz?
- Would you let the child come to visit Kaz if they wanted?
- Would you tell the child that they are not your own?
- Why didn't you adopt from China or Russia?
- Why didn't you adopt from the US?

They also heard from the doctor at the baby house and about the babies history and diagnosis. They said she was eligible for adoption and they supported the adoption. Same for the rep from The Minister of Education. Total time was about 45 minutes. Everything was very smooth this time and I am thrilled to have it behind me.

Tomorrow I am going to take a mess of cookies to the baby house for the staff to thank them for taking such good care of Kayla. Who knows, maybe it will get her some attention while I'm gone.

Feeling Better

2007-11-17T03:41:00.001-08:00

OK, I've calmed down from my interview with the judge. I figured out why I was so bothered. It's like having to talk about and justify the most private part of your life and decisions to a stranger with an audience.

I did remember a few more questions:

- Who do you live with?
- Do you have family? Do they live with you?
- Are you adopting because someone you know adopted and you are coping them?
- Are you adopting for someone else?
- Are you adopting so you won't be alone?

I am told the reason they probe so much is because of the cases where adoptive children were abused or even killed in Russia. I'll add any more that come up Monday.

Dr. Laura came to the baby house and checked out Kayla. She said her lungs sound clear and she didn't see anything to worry about. I guess eventually I will know what is normal and what is not. Anyone know when that kicks in? She had a friend in town who is a video journalist. He took a bunch of pictures of us and some video. He suppose to send me some pictures. If I knew he was coming I would of worn make up!

Today I went to a farmers market. There was a lot of onions and potatoes and big chunks of some type of meat in the back of trucks and on tarps. Yummy....

I think I have been here too long, my "Summer in NYC" is coming out of me (no offense Jane & Jim). I was out walking, in my white sneakers, pink coat and sunglasses, and twice I saw women very obviously staring at me (no, I am not paranoid) and I just stared them down. Not like me at all. Time to go home!

Wednesday will be the last day I see Kayla : < ( I will be flying to Almaty on Thursday morning and home on Friday. I know some of you will be taking off for the Thanksgiving holiday soon and I wish you safe travels and fresh pecan pie!

Court - Part 1

2007-11-16T02:34:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!? OK, that's not really what I am thinking. I am a bit wound up so I hope this doesn't come across as too negative.

Just got back from my interview with the judge. At the end of the day I guess it is fine but it was not the "nice to meet you" and ask a few questions I had anticipated. Even the CHI folks said as soon as she left, "I don't know what's wrong with her today" - GREAT! They said she had never been so, I don't know if it was grumpy or argumentative or what. Let's just say I am NOT looking forward to Monday when there is a prosecutor there to grill me too.

OK, maybe someone can learn from my experience. I was really only there 15 -20 minutes but it seems a lot longer. My favorite part is when she would just put her head in her hands like "I can't believe this person expects us to give her a baby".

1) She would ask a question and before the interpreter could tell me she would move onto something else or he would translate and she wouldn't really give me a chance to answer.

2) They do NOT get adoption by choice. If I had to do it again I would just say I was infertile. She couldn't understand why I never got married and have a baby. HEY, LADY - THAT MAKES TWO OF US!!! Apparently the correct answer is "I never got married and did not want to have a child out of wedlock due to moral reasons".

3) They do not get that very few people OWN their house outright without a mortgage. Here they apparently have to OWN a house before they can adopted. We spent quite a bit of time on that.

4) There is "married" and there is "single". It does not count, and certainly should not be mentioned, if you lived with someone. Luckily when I tried to justify my not being married by mentioning I was in a 14 year relationship my interpreter didn't tell her that part.

Some of the questions I remember:

- Why didn't you adopt sooner?
- Why are you adopting in Kaz?
- Did you try to adopt in the US?
- Can you afford to take care of a baby?
- What will happened to the house if you can't work?
- Does your family know you are adopting and do they support it?
- Do you care that the child is not Caucasian (and then she commented about how she has my eyes).
- Do you know about the child's diagnosis?
- Can you handle a house and baby?
- Does the baby know you?
- How many days have you seen the baby?
- Do you have any medical conditions?
- Do you have a criminal background?
- Do you work? What do you do?

Maybe I'll remember more later, it's all a blur. Again - at the end of the day it's fine so I shouldn't complain. I'm going to treat myself with Russian Yoga and Mac & Cheese.

I've Got Good News and I've Got Bad News

2007-11-14T21:37:00.000-08:00

I actually have TWO pieces of good news. First, Mama being the savoy world traveler that she is made it home safe and sound. She spent the night in Orlando and had a lovely "welcome to Nanahood" gift from Jean. She was really touched by the photo book and key chain with Kayla's name and I know she appreciated the snacks. Thanks Jean for taking such good care of her.

The other good news is I have my court date and it is ALMOST the perfect situation. I have an interview with the judge for about 15 minutes on Friday. It that was it, it would be perfect. But, the actual court date is Monday. Don't know the time yet. I was hoping to fly to Almaty after court and get a flight HOME. Cindy was great and checked for me but, no surprise, everything is sold out because of Thanksgiving. So, I am still staying until 11/22. I plan on celebrating Thanksgiving by shaping a turkey out of boiled eggs and use M & M's for accents. Side note for Karen, I really think the M&M's are FATTER over here. Anyway, at least that gives me a few more days with Kayla.

I am nervous about court but have been told they have never denied an adoption and it is a formality. I made a small mistake in the log I filled out everyday to give the court. I said something about when I met Kayla she looked so healthy. They don't like the idea of healthy babies leaving the country. That's why she has the scary diagnosis in her file. They say they also have letters from the baby house that no one had come forward to adopt her. They also ask you why you are adopting from Kaz and your not suppose to say anything about the health of the babies or speed of the progress. I have to practice talking about the rich history and culture of Kaz. Hope there isn't a test! It's all sort of a game to make the court happy. I'll just be glad when it's all over.

Dr. Laura is coming to the BH today to check Kayla out. Sometimes she kind of pants and seems tired. Not all of the time. What do I know about what is normal for a baby? I'd rather have her checked out.

Kayla was sort of bouncing around yesterday when some music was on so I think she was dancing. I did wear my glasses yesterday and they were the golden ring to grab and put in her mouth but she didn't get them (OK, she got them once) and I think she mat slowly be learning they are not up for grabs.

Yesterday we went to the BH at 4:30 and today at 4. I was soooo bored I actually did "Pilate's for dummies" in my room before going for my daily walk. We'll play today by ear.

Lele, saw your post....that's just cold!

You Ain't From Around Here R Ya?

2007-11-13T03:50:00.000-08:00

I went for a long walk yesterday and as I looked at people looking at me it got me thinking about how one could better appear to be a local in Shymkent....

- Do not wear white sneakers. In fact, if your a woman wear either boots or spiked heels regardless of how far you have to walk. I have noticed women here fall into two categories. The first is very fashionable and dressed modern. The second is, mainly older women, who wear some sort of moo moo and have a scarf of some sort on their head. I think there must be a law that at a certain age you are required to wear a babushka on your head.
- Feel free to spit on the street anytime and don't worry about stepping over the spit puddles.
- Don't wear sun glasses. This one I just noticed yesterday, I didn't see one person (except me) wearing sun glasses. Now I've seem them for sale but now I am assuming it is an untapped market.
- Walk arm in arm or holding hands with your friend. More women do this than men but I have seen men walking with their arms around each other. It's nice I think.
- Even if it's in the 70's wear a big coat when you go outside.
- Only wear clothes in the black family. No pink, blue, yellow...you get the idea.
- Appear to understand the different beeps coming from cars. It's weird but it really is like people understand which beep means what.
- Have black hair. I have seen a few blonds but most have been mixed with either black roots.

Shymkent is a mix between a modern city and the old Soviet. There is a lot of new construction going on all over the place and the pictures outside the job sites look fantastic. There are also a lot of very old buildings not in good repair. I've noticed the city is putting up nice new street lights. Maybe next they can get to work on those pot holes! I really do think in 5 - 10 years you won't be able to recognize the place. You see signs that say, "2030". I asked and that's thier goal for some sort of ecomonical development.

Kayla is doing wonderful. Yesterday she fell asleep on me (after a stinky poop) so I just laid on the floor and watched her. Today she was all smiles and giggles. I do think I will have to get her into some apple juice rehab program when I get back.

I heard from Mark that Mama made it to NYC so I'm sure by now she is sleeping and safely home. I miss her terribly but am happy she is home. I should know my court date tomorrow so wish me luck!

Leaving on A Jet Plane.....

2007-11-11T04:23:00.000-08:00

OK for those of you who don't know....that's the name of an old song. Well Mama left today : < (
She will spend the night in Almaty and do a city tour and then start her l o n g trip home in the morning. I have promised to give Kayla a kiss for her each day and to email her EVERY day.

Sunday we don't go to the baby house and with Mama gone the day has just dragged. I didn't go walking today because it has turned cold and as many of you know I am a big wimp. Mainly been reading.

Yesterday we went to the BH early and Kayla was still in a good mood and happy and playing. I may be imaging it but she seems to reach for me now. Of course she is also reaching for what she hopes to me her next toy - my glasses. Any suggestions on how I convince her they are not another chew toy for her? She also is pushing herself up A LOT to a standing position and walking holding onto chairs. Maybe all of the meat baby food I am giving her are making her "Super Baby". I know it's selfish but I don't want her to start walking until I get back so I don't miss it. I am already going to miss her first birthday (12/2).

After the baby house we drove into the country to the village Kayla's birth Mother is from. I didn't really know what to expect from a village since don't actually have those. My guess is about 200 people live there. It's houses and building amongst a bunch of open land. They apparently farm watermelons and cotton. We took pictures and then headed home. It was weird to think that we could be passing her birth Mom and not even know it.

On another note, the people here work very hard. We see the same people at the Front Desk and Restaurant early in the morning and in the evenings. I think they all work 12 hour shifts and it seems to be the norm to work 6 days a week. Kids even go to school 6 days a week. I was in the room when they cleaned it today and man do they go to town! I am thinking of video taping the Housekeepers brushing the carpet with a scrub brush and scrubbing the floors with a rag to play the next time I get a complaint from one of our Housekeepers - KIDDING!!!

Sorry I don't have anything more exciting to report. Frankly I'M BORED!!!!! At least tomorrow I will get to see Kayla which makes it all worthwhile. If your so inclined send up a prayer that my Mom has a safe journey and makes it back home safe and sound.

I've Been Replaced!!!

2007-11-09T04:32:00.000-08:00

Mama leaves Sunday to head home. I've really enjoyed the time we have gotten to spend together and all of her support during this process. I was very touched when she said how much she was going "to miss my baby" until I found out she wasnt talking about me! She was talking about Kayla....I have been replaced....I am no longer "baby girl", Kayla is. I suppose it is only fitting since Kayla is so nuts about her. She just lights up when she sees her. I'm sure Kayla will miss Nana too.

The official bonding period is now over and I am waiting for a court date. I still get to visit her each day but I dont have to log everything. It's probably not very realistic but I am hoping for a quick court date so maybe I can come home sooner so I can come back sooner. i am still holding out hope I can have her home by Christmas. It just seems so crule to bond with her and then abandon her. I hope she understands.

Today was the best day ever. Kayla was so sweet and really engaged with me. We played an exciting game of her trying to pull down a planter and me grabbing her and tickling her tummy say "neth". We did this over and over and she just giggled each time. She also like playing with my mouth, practicing her raspberries and going after anything that is NOT a toy to put into her mouth.

Tomorrow we are going to the village her birth Mother is from to take pictures. I'm not 100% sure it's a good idea but thought it might help her to have pictures one day.

If anyone has any specific questions I can be reached at kittyrhae@yahoo.com. I am more than happy to help any of the waiting families out there. Now I am off to have some yummy egg salad....

Typical Day

2007-11-07T04:26:00.000-08:00

I thought I would share with you what our typical day is like over here. It's funny how we only have 2 hours a day with anything to do but at the end of the day I STILL haven't the time to exercise.

8:30 AM We wake up as the the gentleman who sells very large stereo speakers outside our window opens for business and begins to advertise his wares.

9 ish We take OUR cereal or OUR oatmeal and OUR tea down to our free breakfast. I usually pocket a boiled egg "just in case". By now we have enough that Mama is going to make me egg salad before she leaves. I have apparently been short sighted because I never realized hot dogs and rice were breakfast food.

10 ish We get ready and repack my back pack with diaper, baby food and apple juice and watch CNN global. This is tricky because they show the same things on a loop all day so if we start watching it too soon we are doomed for the rest of the day.

12 noon The CHI rep and interpreter pick us up. They say, "good morning" and nothing else in English. I have not learned any Russian but I can tell when she is yelling or cussing out the other cars which is pretty frequent.

Side bar - I am absolutely AMAZED that we are not in an accident or mow down some poor pedestrian every day. I don't think there are any traffic laws here. I just cant explain how crazy it is. Let me just say this, I would much rather be in a NY taxi cab than to drive in this city. One example for you....if you are turning at a red light, it is not at all uncommon for there to be a row of 3 cars side by side in the intersection trying to pass each other.

12:30 We get to the baby house, hand over the diaper and wait for BG in the sun room(which is the only warm/hot room in the place). We play, I feed her and take pictures for an hour and then they whisk her off. The last two days she has been pushing herself up a lot and walking holding onto the chairs. She also drank by herself from her sippy cup and would not let go. This kid had a death grip on it. Don't let her know but i thin she is stronger than me!

BTW, I misposted - her official name is going to be Kayla Grace (not Kaylee which was a finalist until I remembered it was Ray & Roberta's dog's name).

2 PM We are back to the hotel and looking for snacks!

3 PM We usually go for a walk for about 40 minutes or so exploring. The weather has still been great but there is a lot pf pollution.

4 PM Watch a little CNN and decide what we are going to do for dinner. Most nights its something in the room like yogurt or cheese sandwich's. It's not that we are not willing to try the local food. It's that we cant read the menu, no one speaks English and believe it or not we bought the wrong phrase book. We bought Kaz, not Russian.

6 ish Go to the Internet cafe to check emails.

7 ish We start watching our "Murder One" DVD's. It's an old TV show I had never heard of but it's very good and addictive. We usually watch it till 10 or 11 PM.

11 ish Off to bed on the massive rock they call a bed.

I did make it to one yoga class at the hotel that was in Russian. Maybe tomorrow I'll find some time to exercise. Tonight is the finally of Murder One (thanks Lee for the tapes).

Free Range Babies

2007-11-05T04:22:00.000-08:00

Did I mention the babies in the BH don't wear diapers? From what I understand they just take them to the toilet periodically and do A LOT of laundry. Everyday I bring a diaper and BG wears one for our vist. I guess after she soils it she goes commando. Noooo, I have NOT changed a diaper yet and I am fine with that. Mama said she wants someone to take a picture of me changing the first poopy diaper. I'm fine waiting as long as possible especially if I have to do it with an audience.

The BH has about 90 babies now but most are not able to be adopted. Their families cant care for them right now but have not signed over their rights so hopefully they will be able to go back to their families eventually. BG was given up at birth.

We went to the museum and a nice park yesterday. At the park we met a family who was here picking up their daughter. Her name is Emily and she is 12 and beautiful. It was great to see such a happy ending for an older child. I know they are harder to place.

Today we went to the BH and there were about 20 balls in the room where we play. BG enjoyed chasing them around. We worked on crawling too. Oh, she can crawl and walk with assistance.....when she wants to. Our big achievement however is I taught her how to do a raspberry with her mouth. I'm still more accomplished at it but she seems to be a natural. I have a feeling I may regret teaching her that new skill soon.

We also went and got Mama's ticket to Almaty. She leaves next Sunday and will spend the day there, have a tour of the city and then head home. It has been great spending so much time with her and I am really going to miss her. I did figure out what I am going to do about meals once she leaves. There is this bakery/restaurant called Address. I am going to have a different piece of cake every night for dinner. All I have to do is point at it, it has good things in it like milk and eggs so I figure it's healthy. We got a piece of banana cake tonight so really that's just fruit. This is a plan that could work.

I hope all of you are doing well and I appreciate your posts and emails more than you know!

I Am Brittney Spears!

2007-11-03T03:17:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me the other day that I have become a cross between Brittney Spears and Michael Jackson. No, I have not gone off the deep end over here - let me explain. First Brittney....all of my visits with BG are supervised (just like Brittney) and only an hour which is determined by someone else.

One day this week we got into the car and there was this strange woman in the front seat. No one introduced us or told us who she was so I just assumed the CHI rep was giving her aride. I later found out she was with the Department of Education and was going to the baby house to observe me. Look, I dont think I need the extra pressure of another person watching me with the baby. With Mama, the CHI rep, the interpreter and her that's 4 people watching me. I DONT NEED THE PRESSURE!!!! Luckily, BG was in a good mood and everything went well. The lady even said she looked like me.

BTW, BG is WACKO about my Mom. She just lights up when she see's her and smiles. Mama even had to hide a little today so BG would play. Mama say's she will like her even more once she gives her ice cream for breakfast...ah, it begins already.

Now the Michael Jackson connection - earlier this week they made us start to wear masks so the babies dont get sick. First I was using one of thier masks, which would not stay on. Now I have my own which makes my glasses fog up when I breath and I have this nasy habit of breathing. I'm sure BG thinks I'm some wierd person speaking a language she has never heard and now hiding my face.

Under the catagogy of "DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME" I have sucessfully made macaroni and cheese in an electric tea kettle. It was ingenuis I tell you. so I had to keep pressing the button because the kettle kept turning off once the water boiled. So the water bubbled out of the top. So I had to put everything in a big ziplock gap and squish it together. It was worth it! I was in heaven when i ate it out of my plactic cup. A little tase of home right here in Kaz.

Things are going well with BG. All of her blood tests were normal and yesterday she seemed to wantto climb into my lap. Today she was reaching up to hug my neck and was playing with my mouth and hair. Ah, but what about the mask your saying....shhhhh, lets keep that our secreat.

We dont go to the BH tomorrow but are going to the museum.

Now, about a name....what do you think of Kaylee Grace??? Yes Karen, I know you will continue to call her Katheryn.

OUCH!!!!

2007-10-31T04:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a full day. We picked up BG at the baby house (BH) and took her to Dr. Laura so she could review her medical records. She called the physician at the BH and went over everything and gave her another exam. She got some interesting news from the BH Doctor. She told me she said, "what is up with this baby, I have never seen you have one this healthy?". The doctor told her they had hid BG for awhile to give a Kaz family a chance to adopt her first. Dr. Laura thinks no one in Kaz adopted her because she doesn't look Asian. Funny how things work out. The BH doctor also told her they were giving ALL babies the scary diagnosis so they could be adopted out. As I mentioned, they cant be adopted internationally unless they are "sick".

We next went to the aids clinic for BG to have an aids test. She has already had 3 negative but it's part of the process. I think I cried more than she did. I don't know how you normally get blood from a baby but they stuck her little hand and basically milked it to get enough blood for the test. BG was very brave!

BG was very good in the car. She slept on the way to the doctor because it turns out it was her nap time. The rest of the time she looked out the window, ate cheerios and held onto her frog teether everywhere we went.

Dr. Laura ordered a thyroid test and liver panel just because that is all that is missing from her file. so today they took blood from her AGAIN. Luckily this time I missed it. We didn't get to play much because the room was in use. We should get all of the blood test results back tomorrow and go to the doctor one last time. So far everything still looks like she is a healthy little girl. Well, she does have not bronchitis but something like that but we got a RX for her.

The weather here is still beautiful. They have red rose bushes all over the place. Not a lot of grass, mainly dirt.

Now some very exciting news.....I FINALLY had a decent meal that I didn't bring that wasn't a boiled egg!!! We got cheese pizza and it wasn't half bad. They don't put sauce on it and it came with mushrooms (just how Le Le likes it) but it was eatable!!! I would still pick Pizza Hut.

Mama is getting over her cold and should be going back to the BH with me tomorrow.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

General Rambelings

2007-10-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Things are going well with BG except I don't think she likes me. It's either that or the fact that she is teething and has a cold. I'm sure it's me because its always about me : < )

The last two days she hasn't seemed to be feeling good and she puts everything you give her into her mouth.She always finds the tag to chew on. I brought her a teether today and she alternated between chewing on it and throwing it. She still ate at least 1/2 jar of baby food and boy she was not happy when I wouldn't let her drink all of the juice from her sippy cup. This is the first day she has cried any.

I've been doing some developmental tests with her that the doctor gave me. Today She picked up cheerios and put them in her mouth and passed them from one hand to another - yeah! I'm working on trying to get her to say "bye, bye". She did sort of open and close her had looking at it. I'm cutting her a break since she doesn't know English and I don't know Russian.

Tomorrow we go to the aids clinic for a test (they test the babies periodically in the baby house) and then back to doctor Laura for blood tests. If she didnt dislike me before, I'm sure she will after I hold her while she gets stuck with a needle TWICE.

Today we finally went to the Department of Education. The first was the city office and took no more than 5 minutes. The second was the regional office and they did ask me questions from my dossier but everything seemed to go well.Until today we were not able to get our converter to work but out interpeter took me to get it fixed today so now I dont have to ration the DVD's I watch or how many pictures I take.Mama felt a cold coming on so started on the Zicam Lori gave us yesterday and rested most of yesterday and today. She seems to be doing much better now. She didn't go to the BH today but will tomorrow. They have started having us wear masks anyway so the babies don't get sick.

I had seen other people say this but man do they bundle the babies up! It has been beautiful weather here but I guess they consider it to cold to go outside to the playground. Our hotel is nice. It has a bedroom with a rock as a mattress and a couch that I have been sleeping on. The first hotel had cots that I think the original boy scouts used AND bedbugs! I miss my Hilton mattresses!I'm going to try to post a few pictures but since the files are in Russian we'll see. Email me and let me know what is going on on the other side of the world.

We Are Alive & Well!

2007-10-27T03:17:00.000-07:00

Greetings,

I'm sorry it has taken so long to update this blog. So much to tell but I will try not to ramble on.

Trip was OK. Took 2 days but we had a day room in Amsterdam (highly recommend for any long layover) and slept, went to an apartment in Almaty and slept and on the trip from Amsterdam to Almaty we each had a row of seats to ourselves that we made a bed and did what? You guessed it slept.

When we arrived at Shymkent we unexpectedly went straight to the baby house. It was a holiday (Republic Day) and CHI had arranged for us to get a jump start. Well, I really wasn't mentally expecting to meet "my baby" that day and we were exhausted despite our naps. We got there about 4 PM and the Director brought out the first child. I feel awful saying this but she was much older and I felt classifed as special needs I was later told by the doctor that they will normally bring out one or two special needs kids first in hopes of placing them). My heart dropped and I was crushed. They then brought in a second child. This child seemed to be perfect. We asked as many questions as we could think of about her history and medical and then called it a day because it was clear everyone wanted to go home.

Once we got settled in the hotel and looked at our notes we realized they had given her a pretty scary diagnosis. The next day we were off because of the holiday and spent the day walking the city looking for an Internet cafe. I don't care what anyone says, "Internet" is NOT an international word and they are not as prevalent as I had thought. Imagine two blond, women, obviously NOT Kaz going up to strangers on the street and trying to explain what we were looking for. Anyway, we finally found one and looked up the diagnosis and it was in fact bad.

By now I was having a melt down thinking I was going to be going home empty handed to a decorated nursery. I contacted Jeff at CHI and he was great and really picked me up and explained my options.

The next day we went to the baby house and took BG (baby girl) to the doctor that is here who is from Texas. She was absolutely fantastic and explained they use different terminology and that she didn't think BG had that diagnosis. We are waiting for her to review the medical records ("in case they are hiding anything") and do some tests but so far so good.

Now about BG. I'm afraid to jinx things but I think I may have hit the "baby jackpot". Even the doctor said she had never seen such a healthy looking baby from the orphanage. She is 10 months old, weights a healthy 18 pounds and can walk if you hold her hands. She has green eyes (like mine), is fair skinned and has blond/brown hair. She doesn't have a ton of hair so its hard to know. Today was our first day to play and she ate turkey baby food with no problem (they say she will eat anything you put in front of her) and I got her to smile and reach and play with a ball and even giggle. She got hick ups and I had no clue what to do but NOW I know you give her something to drink.

I promised not to ramble so I will end it here. We have moved hotels so now there is an Internet downstairs so I wont be so isolated and I will be able to stay in touch.
Please continue to keep us in your prayers that everything works out with BG.

The Count Down Has Begun...

2007-10-21T13:16:00.000-07:00

Twenty hours from now we will be on a plane on our way to Kaz. We will be going from Orlando to JFK to Amsterdam where we will get to sleep at the Hilton attatched to the airport during our 11 hour layover. We will then fly to Almaty, go to an apartment to sleep for awhile and then fly to Shymkent. It will ONLY take 2 days travel (joke).

I have very lucky to get to spend some time with some good friends this week. First I saw Christine as she was leaving to go back to FTL. Her daughter was with her (Lauren) and I can't believe how big she is. Such a cutie. Then I saw Crys, a friend I have had since 7th grade, that I haven't seen in quite awhile. She just started LPN school and I am so proud of her. I know she will be a great nurse. Next I saw Leann who made me a world class American dinner of grilled cheese! She has been a rock for me during this process. Saturday I saw Lee, a friend from HS, who has graciously loaned me about 60 DVD'S! She has as many DVD's as I do beanie babies and I am very grateful. Last night the Brock family made me a world class dinner, showered me with books, magazines and snacks for my trip. Kenny and Jamie even made me a beautiful bracelet that says "Mommie" on it. I can't wait to wear it to the baby house. I also got wonderful calls from many other friends. I'm so happy I got to see and speak to so many people before I leave. Everyone well wishes and support have meant more to me than I can express.

Let's talk about packing. Everyone says pack light and I have certainly tried BUT when you are going to another country for a month, in the winter and have to pack every type of over the counter medicine, toys, DVD's and the snack isle of your local grocery there is no way you (or at least me) can fit everything in one bag! I have a back pack, a bag and probably a carry on.

I have made a decision about how I am going to handle food when I get there....I am going to pretend I am a normal person and that food is just to fuel the engine. I am going to use this as an opportunity to learn to LOVE vegetables and water. I keep hearing that in order to have your kids be a health eater is to be a healthy eater. That probably makes more sense than my plan of pushing veggis around my plate and PRETENDING to eat my vegetables.

When else will I have a month off and no ability to do any chores? I'm going to enjoy my time with Grace and my Mom, read, explore the city and relax. I actually have brought a yoga and Pilate's DVD but as I said....we'll see how it goes.

I am hoping I wont have any computer problems and will be able to keep everyone updated. The big day is 10/25 when I will meet the little girl who will hopefully end up being my daughter!

Right now my Mom is driving up after a dead battery. We have to get her another one before we head out to the airport. One piece of bad luck but everything else has been positive.

I will try to post again 10/25 after my visit to the baby house. FYI, I will be 11 hours ahead of EST.

Thank you to everyone for your well wishes and support!

I HAVE MY TRAVEL DATES!!!

2007-10-11T18:14:00.000-07:00

They finally came - we leave 10/22 and come back 11/25 (I have a feeling Kaz doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving). We go from Orlando to JFK to Amsterdam to Almaty to Shykent. Piece of cake right??? HA!!! Did I mention I absolutely cannot sleep on a plane??? The EXCELLENT news is I actually got the tickets using frequent fl yer miles. That is saving a pretty penny.

The problem is (isn't there always a problem?) is it right in the middle of when Mama and Mark were suppose to go on a fantastic trip to Greece. We have looked at it every way you can to try to find a way so she could do both trips but no go. She is going to cancel and Mark is going to go alone - OH THE GUILT!

I'm a combination or ready and totally unprepared. The nursery is ready. My schedule is pretty clear at work. I've been reading more baby books. I have a pile of things to take including toys. I have to pack. Stop the mail. Borrow a ton of DVD's and I NEED A NAME!!!

I've been volunteering at the church nursery some to get some hands on experience. It has been fun and I haven't lost any babies. I haven't worked up the nerve to change a diaper.

My friend Elizabeth had her baby boy - Conrad. He is such a cutie pie!!! She's already a great Mom.

Well I better go and start working on my "to do" list.

No News is, well....No News

2007-09-08T18:58:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't say I don't have ANY news. Carol, the other single woman adopting from Kaz, has her travel dates and will be in country 9/24. CHI says I should be next so I am HOPING I will be going the first week in October. The problem is that maybe too late for my Mom to go with me. I am hoping to hear next week.

I have been using my time wisely. I bought the bedroom furniture (although now I am having second thoughts - thanks Mama!). I took a digital photography class today so I can actually use the nice new camera my folks got me. I have been doing a lot of shopping on line - I think I have everything for the bedroom, some clothes and a high chair. I'll probably wait on the rest till I know how old "Grace" is. I also have a pile of things set aside to pack for each trip and pretty much have my clothes read.

I had a very nice visit with my parents last week. I worked Mark to death and he did 11 chores for me! It was great to spend some time with them and it takes a load off of my mind to have these things done around the house. They both have been great about the adoption, much more supportive than I had anticipated. Guess I under estimated them (sorry guys). Mark has even volunteered to take the second trip with me which is very generous. I thought he was going to renege when I pointed out that he would have to hold the baby when I was in the bathroom (and some of you know I go A LOT).

The extra time has helped me to get a lot of things done at work. I think everything will work out while I am gone. My boss said I could work one day a week for extra money since I wont have enough vacation time which is great. I am also going to have my trusty blackberry programed so I can use it in Kaz.

Still no definite name...just a lot of maybes. Mama likes the "K" names. I need to put together another list. It sure would help if I knew what her age was now.

OK, for my next trick I am going to TRY to post a picture of Mark hard at work. Wish me luck!

Coming Out Of the Closet

2007-08-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

No, not that way..."not that there is anything wrong with that" (Seinfeld reference in case you missed it). I told my boss about my plans and needing to take a Family Medical Leave. I was nervous but he really couldn't have been nicer about it. Now I am just hoping I can get all of my work things done before I leave. It's hard wrapping things up without a date. I've got three pretty big things pending relating to hotels that are transitioning. I just hope the timing works out - I hate to leave my work for someone else (unless its my housework, I leave that for Maria!).

I have also told a few more people. At first I was real nervous telling anyone. I think afraid of them judging me or making some of the comments I've seen on other blogs. So far everyone has been great.

I think (hope) I made a good contact this weekend. One of the volunteers at the Coalition of the Homeless yesterday is the director of the children's program at the church. I told her I wanted to volunteer in the nursery to get practice. I told her what I was doing and she was very nice and said she would do whatever she could to help. I promised to bug her with a million questions. I am hoping since she is in the child care biz she may be able to give me some referrals for a nanny or at least get the word out.

I was also floored by the generosity of Lori and Doug Brock. They brought over their beautiful crib for me to borrow and insist on putting on all of my cabinet locks! Doug even said he would go shopping with me to help me pick out the right stroller and car seat. This is a huge relief because I look at a lot of things and have no idea if I will need them or if they are too young. Doug has a good eye and saw lots of things that needed secured that I never even saw!

I also heard from an old friend, Tina Nawara, from South Florida. I hadn't heard from her in about 3 years. She has graciously volunteered to come up when I get home to help teach me how to be a Mom. My friend Dana Strupler had also volunteered plus my Mom. Is it greedy if I take them ALL up on their offers? All three are great Mom's so I'm sure I can learn a lot from them.

Awhile back I prayed, "God, please don't make me go through this alone." I sincerely believe that God is bringing these people into my life now as a result of that prayer. I am so thankful for his grace.

Good News, Bad News

2007-08-15T12:59:00.001-07:00

So which do you want first, the good news or the bad news? Lets just get the bad news over with....

I am very surprised to learn that I cannot use my sick time while I am out for my adoption. I know that I am the Human Resources guru but it never occurred to me that adoption would be treated any different that traditional birth. If I was giving birth I would have over 200 hours of sick time PLUS full salary continuation pay for at least 6 weeks plus about 3 weeks of vacation. That would only leave 3 weeks unpaid. Now I will only have the vacation and have 9 weeks unpaid....BIG differance.

Enough of that, on to the good news. I think there is a good chance that another single woman, Carol, will be traveling to the same region at the same time! We traded a few emails and spoke on the phone today and she sounds great. I think we will get along very well and it is nice to have someone there ahead of me (probably) who can give me "the lay of the land" when I get there who is on the same journey. I think we will get along very well and be good company for each other.

Some more good news is that there is no longer an apartment program in Shymkent. I will have to stay in a hotel. Now this may seem like bad news since now I wont be able to cook but maybe its better. They should have an elevator, maybe it will be a little nicer and safer too. There goes my plan to live off of Kraft mac & cheese for 3 weeks (you think I'm kidding). I am worried about the food. How many snacks can I actually pack? Today Carol said she heard good things about all of the vegetables.....g r e a t.

I am also working with a travel agency that many people on my chat group recommended, "Golden Rule Travel". They gave me two quotes using approximate dates. The difference between the two is $500 so looks like I will be flying Northwest.

Still looking for furniture. Its a tough decision. I like the white but maybe wood is more practical. What would Grace like best?

And speaking of "Grace"....still no official name. I wish I knew what her name is now to see if I could keep that for her. Since she is so young I don't know how attached she would be to it but maybe it would be a good tie to her home country.

Busy, Busy Week

2007-08-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

What a week! Monday was my 44th birthday and Friday I got my "invitation to travel".

The birthday was very nice. I was very touched by the number of cards, calls, flowers and even a few great gifts that I received. My friend LeAnn (well really her husband- the cook of the family) made a nice birthday dinner. I have always been blessed with wonderful friends.

Still.....I couldn't help but think about where I was (or really wasn't) in my original life's plan. Where was my husband??? Where was my family???
I had planned on getting married and starting a family at 24. I was now officially 20 years behind schedule!

Four days later, Friday, I got a call from my adoption agency (Childrens Hope International) saying I had gotten my "invitation to travel" by the Kaz goverment! The visa will be for 8/30 - 11/30 and I am expected to travel the first half of September. I have been assigned to the Shymkent region.

I'M NOT READY!!!!! My "to do" list keeps running through my mind.
- I have to buy furniture
- I have to read the million child rearing books I bought
- What do I do about my room mate?
- How do I find a nanny?

Of course the biggest question that keeps running through my mind is, can I do this alone?
My hope is that all of this is in God's plan and through him all things are possible.

Blog Test 1- 2- 3

2007-07-25T17:53:00.000-07:00

Greetings,

I have never blogged and actually had no intention of creating one. I guess I ended up here because of peer pressure. I am addicted to the blogs of the members in my adoption website. It's strange looking into strangers private lives, thoughts and feelings about something so personal as wanting to be a parent and now here I am doing the same.

Those of you who REALLY know me, know that I am actually a very private person so no one is more surprised than me that I am that I am posting on the world wide web. Of course no one says I am actually going to share the web address with anyone so this may end up being my own online journel.

Since this is a "test" I will end for now. With my strong technical skills I am quite confident I will never see these words again!